Exposing The Publisher: Using Sandy Hook To Further An Agenda


shoe pounderIn the aftermath of the Sandy Hook School shooting in Connecticut, I was left with a feeling of disgust and deep, personal sadness. Working for an inspection company, using Infrared techniques in the mid 2000’s, I had an opportunity to work for that school district. Though I never had the opportunity to visit that school in particular, I did work with many in that community.

However, when I read this article blog posted by the Publisher of that over opinionated web site, that I hate to mention, I had never felt more disgusted by a human being in my life. Not even the shooter of this cold blooded, child massacre could disgust me more than the man named Mark Hallburn. Known in my world as The Publisher.

For those of you new to whom this man is, let me give you a reason, a bullet point list if you will, why I go after scumbags like this.

Certified delusional.
Grandiose sense of entitlement.
Manipulative.
No compassion for anyone, other than himself.
Liar.
Cheater.
Criminal.

Look, my list could go on but what really bothers me about someone like this is he uses our 1st amendment like it was a cheap whore. He refers to that anytime he is stifled to saying something, anything, whether it’s true or not. But he has twisted his lies and halve truths around so much in his lifetime that nothing he says is even close to the truth. He then will abuse your right to free speech when your opinion is a counter or doesn’t agree with his. He has blocked myself and many detractors from posting the truth or viable comments from his web site, his Facebook page and other places. That’s not a complaint. I don’t care that he does that to me. I will still get the truth out.

Back to the original crux of this blog post. (Note, I did not claim to be a journalist of a news site, but let me be perfectly clear on what you are about to read. I did my research on this subject, which I can promise you, the Publisher…did not.) What disgusted me the most about The Publisher’s recent blog post that he tries to call a news story? The fact that he would even remotely use it in his ongoing custody battle with his second ex-wife and the judge that is over seeing that case. In a nutshell, Mark’s past has caught up with him and he has limited visitation with his son. For a good reason. Everything this mostly unemployed, criminal blowhard (and lets not forget the documentation of his delusion) has been taken into account in his custody battle, including the risk of flight with the child. Yet he tries to blame judges for the massacre in Newtown.

We begin with his first paragraph;

The Sandy Hook School massacre has left many people asking why. Before the shell casings cooled, the ‘why’ debate started. Gun critics blamed the National Rifle Association. Mental Health critics blamed the lack of mental health care. Almost overlooked in the debate were headlines from The Los Angeles Times: Connecticut Shooter Was Estranged From Father. The sub headline stated that the shooter “Hadn’t seen his father in two years-despite the father’s efforts. Another headline read, “Upset by divorce? Outsider? Seeking clues in school shooter’s past.

First off, Adam Lanza wasn’t set off to do what he did by not being able to see his father. It was his mental instability that led to these horrific acts. A product of today’s culture and politically correct nature. If a parent was to blame (and they weren’t) it would be his mother more so than his father. You see, Nancy Lanza was ready to move to Washington state (she is also a bit of a Survivalist as it turns out) and get Adam some help. Adam thought he was just going to be sent away. If that was his trigger, then what could anyone do?

Yet, here is The Publisher, taking an LA Times (very liberal and out of touch with this story being 3500 miles away) article and using it as a basis for his story to do one thing. Further his agenda. He hates Judge Kelly (the judge in his custody battle) so much that he will grasp at any shred of information that will help him sell his side of the story.

His side is false. I did my own research. A few phone calls and some friendly advise later and I was able to get the court documents (which are now of public record) of the Lanza’s divorce. Here is what I found;

The documents suggest the couple argued very little. They agreed to split up their jewelry, clothes and family photos and the usual banal items. Adam would live with his mother, the couple agreed, and they agreed to talk about the important decisions when they came up.

If they couldn’t agree on something when it came to Adam’s upbringing, Nancy “shall make the final decision,” according to the Sept. 24, 2009, settlement approved by Judge Stanley Novak.

Reading it over, there is nothing in the divorce court file that mentions why the couple decided to split or any underlying problems. The file simply says the marriage “has broken down irretrievably and there is no possibility of getting back together.” There was never a time that Adam Lanza was denied a chance to see his father nor was peter Lanza denied a chance to see his son.

So what The Publisher has done once again is taken someone else’s opinion, that happens to fit his agenda, and made it the underlying problem of Adam Lanza when quite clearly, he was just unstable. I could stop right there Mark continues;

There are many psychological studies and statistics that prove that children who come from broken homes suffer. Too many to list here. Many others prove that children without the strong presence of fathers in their lives also suffer. Yet America allows these situations to continue.

I don’t argue that point at all. That is true. But I say it is only a small part in this situation with Lanza. It certainly isn’t the judges fault.  What i take umbrage with is that he is saying we are  allowing this to happen.  No we aren’t.  What we have allowed is a decline in our family nucleolus.  We’ve forgiven too many moral inconsistencies and not been heavy handed enough with punishment and correction within the homes.  We try, oh we do indeed try, but we’ve been forced to get a second job while the spouse has been forced to get a full time one as well, leaving out kids to fend way too much entirely by themselves.

Here in West Virginia, Putnam(redeacted).com has identified two judges whose anti-fatherhood and anti-family stances are improper: Kanawha County Family Court Judge Michael J. Kelly and Supreme Court Justice Menis E. Ketchum.

In the case of Bill Henry, Kelly refused to return Henry’s runaway teenage daughter to him. She was staying with friends. In doing so, Kelly improperly stripped Henry’s right to be a father to his daughter. At one point the insensitive and arrogant Kelly said that “Anyone can live with anything for 19 days” but never reversed his temporary order.

We don’t know what happened in this case.  Number one, the video that the Publisher was given was edited and cut down to a 5 second clip of Judge Kelly’s quote.  We have no context to why that was said.  Number two, this is a child’s case and all records are sealed.  There is no information available as to why the Judge decreed what he did and there is no basis to what actually happened.  Again, a douchebag saying things to make you believe someone is corrupt.

In the case of Putnam(redacted).com Publisher Mark Hallburn, Kelly reduced Hallburn’s parenting time to less than 70-percent based on false allegations in a temporary custody hearing. Later, it was determined that the allegations were false and made merely on “beliefs” rather than fact. Despite numerous requests, Kelly has refused to reverse his fatally-flawed ruling and even rejected an Emergency Father’s Day visitation motion because he did not receive it 10 days before Father’s Day. Obviously Kelly does not understand the definition of “Emergency.”

I am surprised that The Publisher doesn’t pull a hammy when he reaches for these preposterous statements. First off, the allegations are, indeed, true. It’s been proven before in the past. This means that when it extends to the custody hearing, it’s still true. There are NO false allegations here. There is only fact that Mark cannot function normally within normal society and that has been proven time and again as well. The Publisher is also known to file a harassing amount of FOIA’s, lawsuit paperwork and motions such as this “emergency” fathers day visitation motion. He also demands the most ridicules forms of compensation when he feels wronged. Ten million dollars from AEP when his power flickered for 9 seconds, 1 million from a doctors office for making him wait and most recently he wanted his dead mother unearthed and brought back to life. I’ll let you read that and soak it in.

Done?

I know right!? Let’s continue;

Sidebar:

During the broadcast of my radio show I was informed (by a reliable source) that Mark Hallburns visitation rights sit at 25%.  That’s semantic’s you douchebag!  The Publisher says “below 70%” yet the real story comes out.  It’s such a small percentage because of his own wrong doings.

End Sidebar.

When Ketchum asked for-and received Emergency Father’s Day motion from Hallburn his arrogant response was to violate the First Amendment of the United States Constitution and order Hallburn not to contact the West Virginia Supreme Court about the case any longer. Kelly later retaliated by refusing to let Hallburn’s son travel with him out-of-state SPECIFICALLY because Hallburn complained to Ketchum who responded with the illegal order.

::coughBULLSHITcough::

How is this breaking his 1st amendment right? He’s already proven to be a harassing lunatic and can’t grasp the concept of “a right to” and “an abuse of” the first amendment. Judge Kelly wasn’t retaliating against anything. He was simply doing his job of protecting the child in this case. By the way, this was when The Publisher wanted to take his kid to see his dying grandmother which you just read about.

Kelly’s antics are nothing new. The group Men and Women Against Discrimination (bunch of crackpots) called for Kelly’s removal (didn’t work, failed miserably) from the bench years ago after he testified that he ignored (no, did his job) state law about parental custody. In the Hallburn case he commented that state law would not allow either parent to get primary custody-then, in his wrongful temporary ruling, gave primary custody to Dolores Halburn. Nearly a year later, because Kelly has not issued a final (close enough, just a matter of final details) divorce decree, that “temporary” ruling remains in effect, denying Mark Hallburn his proper rights as a father. This is classic Kelly misconduct (actually, he is just letting Mark hang himself): Acknowledge the law, then circumvent it (which The Publisher does with the truth). He clearly does this because the West Virginia Supreme Court, including Ketchum, allow Kelly to do this.

When Ketchum handed down the Administrative Order, he violated federal constitutional law. When Kelly cited that order and retaliated against Hallburn, he also violated federal constitutional law.

What law?  The right to be a douchebag, pond scum swiller?

Kelly and Ketchum claim to be highly educated men. However, their arrogance and misconduct only prove that they are fools that somehow managed to earn law degrees-then sucker voters into electing them. Kelly and Ketchum lack common decency and common sense. Therefore they have no business serving on any bench.

Blah Blah Blah. You know, I thought I was bad when I got on my rants about things that piss me off. At least I had the common sense to get my facts straight before I go off at the mouth. The Publisher has his running like a whip-poor-wills rear end. So Judge Kelly doing his job is nothing more than just antics and shenanigans to The Publisher? That’s just like the losers that owe money in Judge Watkins court and they get all PC and defensive when he yells at them for it. They bring false charges and force the man to change something that wasn’t really wrong to begin with. Oh and as far as the decree for Mark’s custody hearing? It’s pretty much final. But due to Mark’s own paperwork crush on the court system, it hasn’t been officially finalized. Thus, Judge Kelly can change this to fit the situation properly. This means Mark will lose even more visitation time because of his own selfishness, senselessness and stupidity.

I will state that after reading up on some cases that both Kelly and Ketchem have been involved with, they are truly intelligent and forthright men. They take their jobs to heart and have a passion about the law. They will not let a few bad apples make this system weak and for that, people point at them and say “he’s not fair, he’s not smart.”

Some may say that removing two judges over two cases is extreme. However, there are many more people that contacted Putnam(redacted).com citing abuse by Kelly. They are simply afraid that he will retaliate against them (like he did with Hallburn) and do not want their names and cases published. This alone is grounds to remove a judge. No one should have to fear retaliation-including the loss of precious time with their children.

This is not an outright lie…but it’s pretty close. No one of importance has contact The Publisher other than a few jilted Kool-aid drinkers and of course, The Publisher’s own cronies, namely Troy Sexton, whom just has a problem with the entire system because, well quite frankly, he’s an idiot. You see, in a nutshell, The Publisher likes to embellish things and he does it so much, he actually believes his own stories. But there will never be one ounce of proof supplied. By the way, no one other than the criminals that have faced these judges fears any due process.

In fairness to the courts, there are abusive fathers. Same for mothers. Each should be kept from their children until counseling and other intervention takes place. However, neither Hallburn or Henry abused their children and too many fathers are held back from parenting simply because ignorant judges automatically award primary custody to mothers.

Abusive fathers? Yes, there are certainly abusive fathers. I can name one right off the top of my head that The Publisher pals around with and defends. Troy Sexton. Oh wait, there’s another. Convicted child molester, Bob Harper. As far as Hallburn is concerned, what Judge Kelly is really doing is keeping the kid safe from a volatile, angry man that has little to his name and a shoddy job track record. There would be no way that kid would be safe with that man over the course of time. Visitations (and less of it in this case) is the key to the child’s safety.  Also, in Bill Henry’s case, we don’t know the man and we don’t know what happened behind closed doors that made the child run away.  He doesn’t air any dirty laundry in some blog publicly.

At this point, I know I have pretty much poked holes in every argument or statement The Publisher has made but I will offer up evidence that he alone has provided. I want you to read this next quote closely and if you have an ounce of common sense you will see the evidence as plain as day.

Complaints have been filed against both Kelly and Ketchum with the West Virginia Judicial Investigative Commission. It claims to have processes to deal with bad judges. However, those processes are broken and must be immediately replaced. The JIC has no option other than to do the following: 1) IMMEDIATELY order Kelly and Ketchum to restore every moment of lost time with their children. EVERY moment. This means rolling back the clock-which will be a huge challenge for Kelly and Ketchum-but is their problem. 2) IMMEDIATELY remove from the bench. 3) Throw them into prison for violating federal constitutional law. 4) Set down standards to make sure this does not happen again. 5) Change the way the JIC conducts business so that judges are properly supervised to make sure this does not happen again. 6) Turn over custody rulings to juries consisting of parents. 7) Order the West Virginia Supreme Court to immediately allow temporary orders to be appealed. 8) Turn over all courtroom videos to the news media for us to publish. (Redact the names of cases and digitize the images of petitioners and respondents) 9) Allow reporters into family law courtrooms to keep an eye on judges. 10) Allow the public to address the West Virginia Supreme Court justices at every hearing. 11) Transform the JIC into a civilian review board. 12) Two-year terms for all judges. 13) Recalls for all public officials-elected, appointed, and hired. This must include judges. 14) Term limits for all elected public officials-including judges.

All of these things must happen by the close of business, Friday, December 21, 2012 so that fathers can make sure their rights to be with their children are not violated on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.

First off, there are no viable complaints. Secondly, most of them are filed by The Publisher himself. But did you read that? An insane rambling of a list of things that he wants done to the judges, the system and the Constitution itself and he wanted all done within a few days so he could what? Spend a few hours with a boy that doesn’t really want to spend anymore time with him other than to get some fast food and a bike. Other than that, the kid would have had to sit around on the couch watching movies and cartoons that his dad bought (that will turn him as gay as Perez Hilton) while daddy plays newspaper man and posts his drivel on an online diary of hate.  I don’t even have to go over the insanity that is this list he posted that he demanded be done. Do I? DO I?!

I didn’t think so.

Finally, the nail in the coffin for this entire article. The one line in this entire article that goes a long way to prove that Mark Hallburn, aka The Publisher, is nothing more than a raving lunatic with a sense of entitlement bigger than our national debt. It also shows how much of a threat he is to the general public.

It’s highly unlikely that any West Virginia father will shoot up a school like the incident in Connecticut. However we simply cannot afford another Sandy Hook incident or any other problems with our children because of the courts continuing to improperly interfere with the rights of fathers to parent their children.

A threat? Indeed.

It proves that this man is no more than a low life, looking to get first in line with his hand out for the government cheese, using and stepping on anyone (including his kid) to get there. As the great Mike Balburn, who’s super secret identity remains hidden for obvious reasons, the one that leads the way in revealing the ugliness of Mark Hallburn’s antics has pointed out on many occasions;

“Given his degree of agitation and volatility noted during our examination, any threats made by Mr. Halburn should be taken seriously and dealt with appropriately.”

Taken directly from Mark Hallburn’s own psychiatric report. It’s time to put this guy in his place and that means an extreme decision. Remove him from public and lock him away where he can pretend to be a news reporter, a home owner, a job holder and a loving father all he wants, only, he won’t be hurting anyone with his pretend life.

Exposing The Publisher: To Sell Or Not To Sell.


exposingI admit it.  It’s been too quiet here of late.  granted, I’ve tossed around a comment or two at the trailer park of posting forums called Topix but lately I’ve been more of a lurker when it comes to the antics of The Publisher, whom I am about to expose one more time.  My apologies if “expose” brought other visions to your sick and twisted little minds than was intended.

Currently, The Publisher: Mark Halburn of Putnam(redacted).com,  is facing some changes in his life.  It would appear that all his ranting, raving and acting like a general fool has gotten him in a little hot water with the lady of the house.  You know, the one that pays for his domain name for his “news” (Blog) site when he’s spent all his money on KFC and Taco Bell because a coupon for a freebie wasn’t enough.  Knowing things are about to change for The Publisher, I decided to try and alleviate him of the burden of his web site by offering to buy it.  Now, being an entrepreneur, I figured that I could buy his web site and actually turn it into a credible news site.   Of course, that was just crazy talk.  With all the damage he has done using that domain for his blogging and political attacks the best I could do is buy the domain and dismantle it.  But, I figured I would go in with high hopes and with a professional manner.

What follows is based on actual events.  No names were changed to protect the innocent.  There wasn’t any.

Now, as you see I just wrote up a quick e-mail saying I was interested and I expected there would be some back and forth where we would eventually work out an idea.  Would I pay for the just the domain and the name?  Could I be convinced this was a successful business and I could take it over as a business?  If so, would I get all the information I needed?  As you can see, I only offered to buy the web site, meaning the domain, so I could perhaps continue to run the site.  As you can also see, with no discussion, little fan fare and lacking in reality, The Publisher fired back with a price of $250,000.

$250,000!?

Yeah, I know all about the fact he wants $300,000 for his little blue shack on a hill which is only worth $89,000 appraised, but good lord.  I was even surprised by the price.  $250,000?!  Whew.  Well, despite the quoted cost, I figured I would push this for all it was worth.  At this point?  I was done being serious about buying the site because I knew it would never happen.  Not with a guy that had zero touch with reality.  However, I kept up the charade to see what I could get.

At this point, I had my accountant working on more research on this site to see how much something like this would actually cost to run, what kind of billable income there actually could be and what kinds of overhead there would be.  In an effort to learn more from The Publisher, I asked for the obvious, as you can see.  By the way, we tabbed that this site, with it’s readership and projected readership was worth about $2500.  He fires back by making this a package deal.  $250,000 for the site and the “office headquarters”, which he quoted at an addition $300,000.

::laughs:: Whoa there Nelly.  What the hell just happened here?

So, his “office building” is up for grabs too?  Office building?  You know,  his soon to be second ex wife’s house, whom she shares with her mother.  So now it’s gone from $250,000 to $550,000 but he did say “package deal”.  I assumed the original asking price of $250,000.  My question here is, does it come with a wife, kid and a mother-in-law in that asking price?

By this point he has no clue what he is doing.  All I wanted was a balance sheet or an income and expense report to see what the numbers were.  He tosses out the $2500 a month “billable” mail and then adds in a taunt about the “great debate” that I no showed to, like I was ever going to debate the mentally retarded.  Oh, and because I am from Vermont he decides to taunt me with a maple syrup joke.

Hahahahahaha!  Yeah, like I have not heard that before.  Who’s the dumb one?  me for living in a state that is famous for maple syrup or guys like Mark Haburn that pay $60.00 a gallon for it?

He gets a little ahead  of me in the mail trade off’s, but he starts to offer some of the costs associated to this because he doesn’t want to send me anything.  He doesn’t trust me.  As you will see later, he even says that.  He’s right though, he shouldn’t.  He ends with sort of a “take it or leave it” finality.

At this point I decided to really get the facts.  He’s called his web site a business for years and granted, we have seen a business licence and he has filed taxes on it, but I still say it’s not a business and I will tell you why a little later, just bear with me.  I went right after him.  I wanted a list of everything and if you are a business person serious about selling your business, you would offer that up.  Especially if you were asking 100 times what it was actually worth.

This is where he starts to attack me, saying that his “employees, contributors, editors and webmasters” would not work for me.  Of course they wouldn’t because he is all of that.  He’s had one contributor (another crazy “journalist” named Lawrence Smith) do some work for him and at one point he claims it’s all volunteerism.  We’ll get to that little white lie later.

As you can see, I kept at it.  I want that information now and at this point, I was willing to give him like a$1000 bucks just to dismantle the damn site and let him watch all his years of “hard work” disappear.  Plus, he’s been claiming for years that he has had editors, writers and photographers all working for him.  He’s claimed an office just outside of city limits he was renting.  If so, then I wanted the proof.

This was my last real attempt to get the information from him.  It worked too.  Mark said he was “traveling”.  I didn’t believe him because he was at Marshall University Graduate College taking pictures and playing journalist again.  That’s not traveling.  he says in his next mail that he wasn’t in Putnam County.  That was true.  He was just across the line in Kanawha County.

Let’s wrap up the capture’s here, shall we?

There you have it.  $1000 was my final offer.  Of course he turned it down.  My research of his “clients” revealed what we already knew.  He does a “barter” with them and once you enter Hotel Haburn, you will never leave.  He’s got a few fish on the hook that should have wiggled before they wrote the check but even when they are done paying him, he has left many of them on, just to have some sort of “proof” he has advertisers.

So, I asked for income and expense reports.  Employee lists.  Since this was a web based business, I wanted verifiable traffic logs. Lists of visitor IPs, ISPs, OS and location.  He also would have had to send that same inform for his .com as well as his .org because of his change over last year.   So, what did I eventually get after pressing?  One page of his 2010 Tax forms.  One page.  Just a page from an online tax form that could have just been filled out with numbers and made into a jpg.  However, I believe the form page I have is real.

Now, let me say that I have never doubted that the web site is registered as a business.  I have seen the proof.  I still call it a non business though, at least in the way Mark claims it.  He’s not a journalist, he’s a blogger.  Bloggers make money by selling advertising too.  The good ones at least.  The ones that are read.  The ones that are worth paying for.  He’s not a successful businessman, much less a successful member of society and he just can’t, won’t and will never see that.

Remember when I said I don’t believe this is a viable business?  Here is why.  It’s not for the fact that his profit (which is what you pay taxes on when you run your own business) was only $2448.  At least it made some money, on paper.  But don’t believe what you see.  This “business”?  Is really a tax shelter.   I can also wrap up my explain of the little white lie I mentioned.  He says that his contributors and “photographers” (interesting note here from Mike Balburn; the exif information that is embedded in photographs reveals that Mark takes all his pictures) are volunteer yet on his little tax form he supplied me, he writes off $1150 in contract labor.  There is nearly 9 grand in car expenses, nearly $12oo in utilities.  It goes on and on.  Basically, he’s paying 100% of his household bills with income from his various jobs he’s held over the course of the year plus about a closer number of $600 for “advertising” on his site.  By the way, speaking of advertising, he wrote off $1500 in advertising for his own site.  $1500?!  On what?  Plus 4400 in “other expenses”.

Business?  No.  Tax shelter?  Yes.  Yes indeed.

So this begs a question.  Will Mark ever sell his web site for $250,000?  No.  Will he sell his house….oh wait, I’m sorry… his wife’s house for $300,000?  No.  His soon to be ex wife may be able to sell the house and move away but she won’t get that much for it.  If she thinks she can she is either as crazy as Mark is or has been so brain washed by Mark that she is a walking zombie.

Update: Rumor mill has it that Doed’s might have pulled the divorce papers.  I will now go with the latter for the reason behind her brainlessness.

So there it is, folks.  The Publisher has been exposed.  He’s been pants’d in the middle of I64, if you will.  He want’s no less than $250,000 for a web site that is worth no more than $2500, he still has delusions of being a businessman and a journalist which we have proven time and again that he is not and he uses his business licence to set up a tax shelter for his pathetic life.

To sell or not to sell, that’s no longer a question.

Exposing The Publisher #11


Here’s a quickie for you.   The Publisher over at Putnam(redacted).com has been busted by yours truly, right out of the July gate.

I was reading the Beez Buzz today and read a fantastic opinion piece by John Bornschein about honoring Independence Day.  I caught a screen capture of it actually.

Later in the day I ran across a letter that was “sent” to Putnam(redacted).com that the Publisher printed from a “letter writer”.  I caught a screen shot of that too.

Imagine my surprise when I got done reading.  Huh.  July 1st is only a few hours old and The Publisher is still up to his old tricks.  Mr. Publisher?  I demand you close down you trash blog or admit to the fact that it is what it is.  An opinion blog and not a news source.

Crook.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog reading.

 

Exposing The Publisher Detta, Tama, Tento (#10)



Dit. Tama. Cette. Diese. Questo. Este. Detta. Acest. Tento.

Any way you choose to say it, it all means the same.

The number 10.

In my continuing effort to make sure that you, the reader, the listeners or those brothers and sisters in arms in Putnam County, are fully informed of the story telling that The Publisher likes to tell over at Putnam(redacted).com, I bring to you EtP10. In a continued effort of yellow journalism, The Publisher has once again “created” a story out of nothing. Once again, he attacks Mayor Edwards, accusing his “staff” of planting political signs for the Mayor’s reelection campaign in The Publishers yard. I present to you;

“Here’s Your Sign.” 

As always lets begin with the title of his attack piece.

Edwards Campaign Harasses Critics Again

Right off the bat, he accuses.

Signs Placed In Front Of Home Without Permission

The byline. Even though you eventually come to find out that The Publisher says that he doesn’t blame the Mayor for personally putting signs up in The Publisher’s yard, he leads you to believe such. This is bait and switch.

During his 2007 campaign for mayor, Scott D. Edwards chose to campaign on a Hurricane street corner across the street from the employer of this publisher’s wife. This publisher has been one of Edwards’ strongest critics, citing his anti-family and anti-jobs stance that hurts the City of Hurricane and Putnam County.

Wow. I think I just heard a hamstring snap as he reached for that first statement. The Publisher accuses Edwards of picking a spot specifically because The Publishers wife worked in a building across the street? I’m going to let that sink in for a moment.

First of all, while chatting up the mayor in casual conversation over cheeseburgers and a Pepsi (note: that’s what I was having when I wrote him an email, I have no clue what he was having), I got the impression Mr. Edwards had no idea that The Publisher’s wife was working in any building on any of the street corners he chose to do his hand waving and hello’s. As any smart, intelligent, politically oriented candidate would do, he chose his spots strategically. Highest traffic flow gets you to wave that hand and say hello more which translates into “impressions”. It’s the smart thing to do. Edwards did not choose a street corner based on a critic or where that critic’s wife works. End of story.

All this is, is an attempt to once again for this critic, The Publisher, to try and sully the name of a candidate, The Mayor, just because his panties are still in a bunch about Walmart. It’s all about Walmart. “Edwards is anti family…” because he brought in a Walmart. “Edwards is anti jobs…” because he brought on a Walmart.

Shortly after he was elected, in a tainted election, while this publisher was working in South Carolina, a City of Hurricane inspector cited this publisher’s pregnant wife for weeds on a hillside behind our home. Edwards’ business, Netranom Communications, (the Old Town Hall building) and the current Hurricane City Hall had tall weeds, but they weren’t cited. City inspectors have repeatedly refused to cite Edwards for the issues at the Netranom building. It’s part of Edwards’ double standard and dirty politics.

Tainted election? There has never been proof of this. It was a sore losers late attempt to try and change the minds of those that had already spoken though the ballots. Sam Cole lost in a close election and he didn’t even care until someone started to whisper in his ears about “rigged elections” and “unsafe ballots” or some other hooha. Could it have been Mark Halburn? An obvious critic of Mayor Edwards that was doing the whispering through his opinionated web site? I’ll let you be the judge. Never mind the fact Cole had a solid recount done with the same results. You can count 100 times and nothing was going to change.

As for the weeds part of this yellow journalism piece? Oooops. There goes the other hammy! Seriously? Is there any proof that his second wife was ticketed for tall weeds? Any proof at all? Do they really enforce that statute anymore? Oh, wait. Weeds at a computer business as well, no ticket there? Oh, ok. So basically we have another untruth out there, tossed up like a softball by The Publisher. Excuse me while I take a swing here. He takes a picture of tall weeds in behind the City Hall building and tries to sell that (with no proof) as to have been taken in 2007?  I call dirty journalism.

::bat crack::

I will say this though. Don’t be a stooge, Mr. Publisher. Cut your damn grass if you are looking to make an impression to sell that double wide.

So when Edwards’ re-election campaign signs showed up in the grass in front of our home, Thursday, May 12th, 2011, we weren’t surprised. Edwards says he didn’t do it. We believe him. However, we don’t believe he didn’t know a supporter was putting them there. And despite Edwards assertion that the culprit will be prosecuted, more than 24 hours after the trespassing and malicious mischief occurred (I decided to leave all his spelling mistakes and grammatical errors…that‘s not me), no one from the Hurricane Police Department had fingerprinted the signs. Chief of Police W. “Mike” Mullins hung up on this publisher when he was asked why the signs were not fingerprinted and why the Walmart surveillance video had not been viewed.

Oh my. There are so many things in this little paragraph that just tickle me pink. He totally believes his lie and thus herein lies the crux of my expose’ in this article. It is my belief that Mark Halburn aka The Publisher, did in fact steal signs from various places about the city of Hurricane and deliberately destroyed them to “create” a story to put Mayor Edwards in a negative light.

When asked about the accusation, Mayor Edwards responded with the following quote; “ Me nor my people did this — not sure who did. He emailed me and said he was out of town and demanded 1 trillion dollars per sign per day for yard space rent.”

Yep. You heard that right. One trillion. I have to wonder if Mark sat there laughing manically, his pinky finger resting at the corner of his mouth when he wrote up that email to Mayor Edwards?

Oh yeah, you want to see the entire email The Publisher sent Mayor Edwards? I thought ya might;

“For the second campaign in a row, you have chosen to harass my wife. Last time you campaigned in front of her employer. Today, while I am out of town, she awoke to find TWO of your campaign signs in our front yard. Since these were UNAUTHORIZED, the overnight space rental fee is $1 TRILLION per sign. Yes, I WILL be making this public as just your latest unethical conduct! How do you sleep at night? The payment is due IMMEDIATELY at the City National Branch, in Hurricane! Mark.”

I giggled. Seriously. Until I laughed. Is this guy crazy? Wait!

Don’t answer that.

When I talked to Mayor Edwards a few days later about the missing signs he stated that he had been told a few signs were missing. To quote; “Well, they were stolen from what appears to be random locations… Some in subdivisions and some on main roads.” 

I agree that the culprit be prosecuted. Go ahead and look at any Walmart footage. It’s not going to show anything than an empty parking lot and a few cars rolling up and down Progress Way. As far as the finger printing goes, yeah, do that too. It will find that Mark’s greasy little paw marks are all over them in specific places, not just from “uprooting” them from his yard and crunching them in a barrel to take pictures of the offending signs. The Publisher could be nailed with theft of property, burglary and destruction of said property. Who knows, if he stole enough of the signs and it’s proven he did, then it could be a felony. There’s a hell of an add to the ole rap sheet for ya. No wonder Mullins hung up on his ass. Oh yeah. Can I answer the question of “How do you sleep at night?” for the Mayor? Thanks. Like a hard working Mayor.

::bling smile and a thumbs up!::

We removed the signs and placed them in a more appropriate location. Edwards was sent a bill for the space rental for the time that the signs were in the grass. Naturally, Edwards hasn’t paid the bill. He sent the following email:

“Thank you for letting me know that there were some of my campaign signs in your yard. If they are still on your property, I will be glad to come and get them, but I do want you to know that I did not place them there. Actually, I noticed numerous signs of mine had been moved to different locations last night. I was out until midnight, so it had to have taken place between midnight and 7 am, which is when I noticed the others that were moved. If it happens again, please let me know and I will remove immediately.”

The “appropriate location” was a garbage bin. First off, if The Publisher was any kind of decent human being and this was indeed a prank by someone knowing how much of a critic he is to Edwards, he would have called and said “I have your signs, come get them or I will bring them in. They are not supposed to be on my lawn.” I would not have deliberately broken the law and destroyed them and then taken photographic proof of this.

As far as Mr. Edwards paying the bill? Well, a collection has been started and the office is up to $6.75 in coins and dollars. We here at a State Of Mind have started a matching collection of $6.75 in Pepsi cans so we are well on our way to paying off this two trillion dollar debt. That’s a lot more than the liberal Publisher’s current leaders administration has saved up towards it’s trillion dollar debt.

As for Mayor Edwards going out of his way to respond, it’s a lot more than he needed to do. He was polite and apologetic about this happening and has not once accused Mark of any wrong doing. I have and I will stick to it. What surprises me is The Publisher didn’t burn these signs. He is a suspected firebug after all.

So far, Edwards has not picked up the signs for fingerprinting despite a request to do so.

So here it ends. Number ten. A decology, thus far, of Exposing the Publisher. The Publisher wants the police to investigate, finger prints to be taken, signs to be picked up and trillions of dollars to be deposited into his account. Huh. I just realized we can add extortion to the charges in this little episode (temper tantrum?) by The Publisher. I bet no one thought of that yet, did they. Especially The Publisher.

One final note. The Publisher posted a photo of a supposed Mayor giving a photographer the middle finger. I chose not to repost that. But I did come up with something of my own to cap off this expose, if you will. I call it a three finger book for The Publisher to read.

I just hope he can read between the lines.

Exposing The Publisher #9


Shhhhhhhh…can you hear that?

::crickets::

Yeah. I know. It’s been pretty quiet around the State Of Mind hidden offices lately. Between the rat race, the radio show, family and good friends, I’ve been busy and really? I can’t complain about any of that. That doesn’t mean I have neglected my duties to Exposing The Publisher, however. I’ve recently come across a few articles written by the West Virginia Mad Man, Mark Halburn and have been verifying certain details so that I can bring you the ninth installment of Exposing The Publisher.

I call this one The Crickets Are Crying. Don’t ask me why. I think it’s because I started out with a cricket joke. I’ll probably end with one as well.

Now, lets lay out a little back story first. Remember when The Publisher got all bent out of shape about not being able to swim in the pool Waves of Fun during a Dog Swim? It was an event for pets sponsored and supported by the Putnam County Parks and Recreation Department. They spent roughly $250 bucks and made close to $2000 for the pampered pooches that day. The Publisher boo hoo’d and whined because he couldn’t go for a swim and then tried to claim they spent over $1100. He, of course, was proven wrong.

Most recently The Publisher posted an opinion piece on his blog (we are no longer referring to it as a “news site”) that centered on an investigation into the Putnam County Animal Shelter. Since The Publisher still insists on calling his blog a “news site” and continues to lie to his readers (ie: his clicker finger) I decided it would be a good time to get the writing juices flowing and pop out good ole #9.

The Publisher was pretty blunt by calling this “FBI Looking Into New Animal Shelter Spending.”

Lets begin, shall we?

“The Federal Bureau of Investigation has been asked to look into the spending of private funds for the new Putnam County Animal Shelter.”

Yeah. You know who “asked to look into” things? The Publisher himself. No one else. He didn’t get any calls. He didn’t get any letters. No one but him has said boo. Just because of The Publisher’s petty little jealousy of dogs and cats, just because he regrets his criminal records concerning trespassing and pools, he has to come up with a story, spread some horse manure around in the right area’s and call it a bed of flowers. I call it what it is. Bullshi….wait. Horseshit. Yeah. Horseshit.

“Putnam(redacted).com received a return call this week from a Charleston agent whose name we are withholding.”

Ok. Lets see if I can rephrase this the right way, so it makes sense and tells the TRUTH. Lets, for a moment, give The Publisher the benefit of the doubt and say he did indeed get a call back from an agent of the FBI. One, the only reason he would have gotten a call back was because The Publisher probably harassed the answering machine of some poor sap that was told to cover the office while the other agents went out to make some real busts.

Two, the call was probably a return call to tell The Publisher that he’s a crack pot, they don’t have any authority over the Putnam County Animal Shelter and that if he called back again, there would be an investigation alright, but it wouldn’t be into the PCAS. I’m sure the agent may have used the words douchebag, fat boy and pudgy digits, but don’t quote me on that. Really though? This is just a out and out lie and no phone call ever took place. According to phone records, there was none. I could just stop here, but lets tear down more of The Publisher’s dream.

“At issue, apparently, is whether or not work at the new site has gone through a bidding process.”

How about a different question here. Why would the FBI even care about this?

“It’s a gray area,” the agent says, who disclosed that he will be reviewing the matter with the United States Attorney.”

::coughsBULLSHITcoughs::

Excuse me. I had a little phlegm there. Actually, no. I don’t have any phlegm. I do call bullshit here. He is now quoting some figment FBI agent of his imagination. You can get in trouble for this kind of stuff.

“Earlier this year, Putnam(redacted).com received several telephone calls asking questions about bids. We spoke with former fundraising chair Jeff Barnes who says the only spending he did was for the annual Fur Balls and confirmed each had a bidding process. However, Barnes says he never spent any of the money raised for work at the new site.”

Again, I call Shenanigans. Why anyone would call this guy, of all people, with his reputation, about the bidding process of the PCAS is beyond me? No one called him. It was just his vivid imagination that once again ran wild with an idea and manifested itself into more sock puppets “creating” a story. He then called and harassed yet another county employee and tried a little yellow journalism by getting a quote from someone that could be involved, just because he’ did some fund raising.

“When Putnam(redacted).com filed a Freedom of Information Act Request with Putnam County Manager Brian Donat, his response was that the county was never in possession of the private funds and has not spent any of that money.”

Of course that was the response. There is no story here. There wasn’t even a need for an FOIA here. It was just The Publisher trying to feel and look important by filing this document and that document and doing a little yellow journalism.

“After contacting the West Virginia State Police we were referred to the F.B.I. who confirmed they had already been contacted about the issue.”

::coughsBULLSHITcoughs::

Ahnnn…ahemmmm…arkahhhh…

Wow, must be a frog in my throat. No. No wait. No frog either. I’m calling more bullshit. Again, it comes down to phone records.

“We spoke with Pray Construction President Mark Grigsby and asked whether he had to bid out the work that his company has done at the new site. He declined to comment other than to say, “We don’t comment about our business with private firms. This was not a government contract.”

“It is important to note that no charges have been filed against anyone about this issue, only that questions are being asked. Karen Haynes is now in charge of private fundraising. She has not been accused of breaking any laws.”

“We will update this situation if anything develops.

Well now. We finally come to it. Right there in his own attack piece, The publisher answers his own question. “This is not a Government contract.” Pretty much tells you right there that the State Police or the FBI need not be involved in anything as far as an investigation into the PCAS. Once again, quite simply, this is a vendetta piece by The Publisher because he couldn’t swim in a fucking pool that he once again obsessed over because he couldn’t keep his hairy, fat body from dripping some sweat down his back and into his stained Fruit of the Looms.

As a former journalist and the concerned adopted son of Hurricane, West Virginia, I felt it was my duty to lay out before you the worst attempt at yellow journalism that’s come down the pipe since the August 29th, 2007 article that read “Bush Calls for the Mass Murder of Iranians!” over on Inforwars.

The next call The Publisher should get from any federal, state or country official should be one that will send a couple of guys in white suits and a jacket that goes on backwards.

I now return you to the concerto of crickets.

::crickets::

Exposing The Publisher #8


Good evening ladies and gentlemen.  If you will all take your seats, we can begin.

As you know I have been supporting the efforts of PutnamLIES.com over the last few years as well as supporting those in Hurricane, West Virginia and Putnam County in general.  A few people have asked why.  Quite simply, it’s because Mark Halburn is the quintessential example of an entitlist and it is my duty as an American citizen to stop this kind of lazy behavior.

::crowd murmur::

Please.  Please settle down.  I know it’s been a while since I posted one of these Exposing The Publisher volumes on the site but I had stopped talking about the “publisher” because Mike over at PutnamLIES was doing such an awesome job.  But with the “publisher” beginning to unravel with future elections coming up for Hurricane, it was time for the super sub to come off the bench and assist the master.

This weeks effort is focused on an article written by the “publisher” that focuses solely on a business owned by Mayor Scott Edwards of Hurricane.

We begin.

County Pulls CompuPro Signs

Company Failed To Comply With Warning Letter

By Mark Hallburn

Publisher, Putnam(Redacted).com

After getting complaints from Putnam(Redacted).com readers, we investigated whether Putnam County took action against CompuPro for illegally placing signs alongside streets in Scott Depot.

Ok, lets kick this off with some honesty. No one complained about this to Putlam(Redacted).com. It’s just a personal vendetta against the mayor by some blogger with a chip on his shoulder. That’s all this story really is. The “publisher” is pissed off at the world because he is an entitlist and needs someone else to blame.

The answer, we learned, is yes. Action was taken. Signs were removed.

You want the truth about the signs? I got in contact with Mayor Edwards, the owner of the business that the “publisher” is about to reveal in the next line and he had some interesting things to say. About the signs;

“Tyler, my CompuPro manager thought that he had removed the signs (had no idea they were against the rules since there are so many of them around). The county sent a letter and my manager removed a bunch of them, but obviously not all of them since we received the letter.”

Edwards wrote in a letter to this writer.

What we were surprised to learn was the name of the apparent owner of the company: City of Hurricane Mayor Scott D. Edwards. When we called CompuPro, Netranom Communications, which is owned by Edwards, answered the line. City of Hurricane employees verified that he owns the business. However, it isn’t licensed in the city, even though Netranom is in the city limits. In fact, Netranom is in the old Hurricane City Hall.

So? Does this matter? Mr. Edwards, much like myself, is a businessman. Most mayors are in most cities. They have other pursuits that have been successful that have led them to become a leader. When asked about the Putnam(Redacted).com “publishers” ranting about the signs, Mayore Edwards had this to say;

“He is also mad that this business is not in city limits, but it didn’t make business sense for me to go this.”

Mark continued in his rant;

Why were the signs placed illegally? Why didn’t Edwards open his new company in the City of Hurricane? Why didn’t his company remove the signs when it was warned in a January 20th letter? We’d like to know. Edwards has not responded to an email seeking comment.

Seems to me like Mayor Edwards is a pretty smart businessman. He knows where certain goods and services are needed and offers those goods and services in a professional manner. The signs were used to promote the business. Much like a lot of the political candidate signs you see strewn about the lands come election time, some of these signs were not picked up, simply because they were forgotten or possibly moved without the managers knowledge. With that said, these signs were never placed illegally, most were picked up and some were forgotten and later removed after another reminder letter.

“There was no fine or anything like that. Appeared to be a “no harm, no foul” deal.”

Edwards added.

I’d like to add that Mr. Mayor has not responded to the “publishers” email and I have a guess as to why.  Please note, I DO NOT speak for Mayor Edwards here.  You don’t answer letters from crack pots that will have future  restraining orders put against them.

“We take action against any illegal signs,” says Putnam County Office of Planning and Infrastructure Director Sandra Mellert. “We issued a warning, the signs weren’t removed, so we took them down.”

The company has until February 25th to pick them up, according to the January 25th, 2011 letter posted above this article.

No, not true. Well, the letters were sent, that much is true. Signs were removed by the manager of CompuPro and then the rest that were missed were removed, along with any other remaining political campaign signs and other unauthorized signage, by the town. By the way, this quote is just a verbatim out of many town hall ordinance books.

Putnam(Redacted).com received copies of these letters through a Freedom of Information Act request that was initially resisted by Putnam County.

More abuse by the “publisher”. Sidebar here. The “publisher” has been abusing the FOIA for years, thinking it is his way of “striking back” at the empire. Meh. He should read up and understand the FOIA information here. There is a reason he gets charged more than a news site would. His site isn’t a news site at all! He’s not even a commercial filer.  End sidebar.

And if Edwards wants to open another branch of CompuPro, there are vacancies at the Hurricane Gateway Center and Hurricane Marketplace. Of course, in those locations, CompuPro would have to pay the City of Hurricane’s Business and Occupancy tax, something it doesn’t have to do at its location just outside the City of Hurricane’s border.

Wait a second. A couple of years ago the “publisher” was claiming he had his “business office” right down the street, just across the city line. So, why the hoo ha then if that were true? Why bother the Mayor of Hurricane about a business he owns that isn’t within town borders if your own office isn’t even within town lines? Hippo-crite. Oh wait, he originally said that he had the business office just across the town line so he didn’t have to pay B&O taxes on his “news site” business. Then he found out if he were a “news site” he didn’t have to pay B&O taxes. But the truth is all he has is a business license certificate which anyone can get but he doesn’t make any money from said “news site” business because it’s an opinionated blog site.

So… what is this really all about?

“Halburn just wants to try to pick a fight, but I’m not going to fall for it. I figure that his ranting about me will pick up soon since I am running for Mayor again this year (election is in June). Should be interesting.”

Said Mayor Edwards when asked about the situation.

I am going to wrap up this edition of Exposing The Publisher with this thought. The “publisher” likes to “create news” all the time. He also likes to rail against those he feels he has been wronged by, the local government, local business establishments where he has had a bad experience and so on. So he creates news stories. None of it is news. It’s all opinionated rants. Much like my radio show. But at least I am aware that my stuff is opinionated ranting. I’d also like to point out something I noticed today and perhaps we will do an in depth feature on this, but it seems to me there are a lot of fires in and around Hurricane, West Virginia that the “publisher” reports on.

Hmmm…more news creating by the “publisher”?

::crowd gasp::

Did I just accuse Mark Halburn of setting fires to create news?!  Yes. Yes I did. That should be investigated.

Hitting The Refresh Button


You can judge the value of a thing in lots of ways. The value of money can be determined by what it will get you – a meal, a car, clothing. The value of a house can be determined by its size and location. What’s interesting to note is that each of those things can be gained, lost, and then gained again. They are commodities. They are valuable, but they are not precious. Time is not only valuable, but it is precious as well. Its value, therefore, is more than any other thing that can be gained again, for time, once it is gone, is gone forever.

Ask yourself this;

What is the value of time? It can’t be quantified. It is beyond comparison, and beyond any price we can pay. When circumstances line up, everything has a price tag – except time. So don’t waste it. It will leave you as assuredly as the sun will rise tomorrow, so spend it wisely. It’s the most valuable commodity a person can ever own, yet it’s free. But you have to use it, because there is no interest-bearing account where you can save it and get more of it. Time is priceless.

This, my friends, is why I want to share more of my time with you.  Distractions, mismanagement, motivation…all things that ate into the time I had set aside for this blog, are being changed.  I can’t wait for time to change, I have to change to get that time back.  Distractions, razed.  Mismanagement corrected.  Motivation refreshed.

I am going to have a lot to say here and on air over at TalkRadioX and it’s going to range from random thoughts to full blown rants on whatever pisses me off.  There will even be guest posts done by The Angry Teddy Bear, Jimmy The Mime and whatever other disturbed personalities leak from my brain cells.

So…welcome to Hollywood in 2011…a State Of Mind.

Exposing The Publisher #7


Hi there.
Have you missed me?  I’ve certainly missed you fine people here at Hollywood: It’s A State of Mind.  The summer proved to be pretty quiet on the blogging front.  A lack of some meaty material combined with a full schedule of work between the store, the consulting and the radio show (not to mention the weather was just mind blowing in the NE this year) made for a “slow news” period, if you will.
I never worried though.  Fellow blogging sensation Mike Balburn, over there at PutnamLIES has kept us updated on the Mark Halburn (Whale) Watch.  Keeping the man in line.  I also know at some point, Mark would poke his head out like one of those gophers on Winnie the Pooh, asking for an “excavation expert.”  God that whistly lisp was annoying!
Now, I wasn’t totally sold on what exactly to do for a coming back party post at first but I knew something would strike me and the ole writing bug would nibble at my fingertips.  I was going to tear apart some of the Publishers recent articles but the Might Balburn beat me to a couple of those and of course, I tip my hat to thee.
::hat tip::
Then the publisher himself embarked on a new post happy opportunity over at Hurricane Topix forums and some of his postings were the nibbling I needed to fire up the next in the installment of Exposing the Publisher series.  Two days later, he gave me something even better with a recent “article” on…you guessed it, us trash bloggers.  Now that the important preamble (much like the declaration of Independence) is over, let us free our minds…
IMPERSONATION PAGES PULLED OFFLINE
Twitter Shuts Down Harassing Fakes
By The Publisher
Online critics of Putnam(Redacted).com are finding it harder to take their cyber cheap shots.
Uh, really?  I don’t find it any harder to do much of anything when it comes to exposing the publishers lies.  The summer has indeed been quiet because Mark has remained pretty quiet.  That was until recently over at the Hurricane Topix threads.  You really think you can pop your head back up like one of those fake moles in Whack-a-Mole?  By the way, what we level upon you are not cheap shots.  The 411 we drop on the lobes of the masses is the plain truth, which you seem devoid of being able to tell.
I think I should take a moment to mention that the publisher added a picture in his post.  Let me give you a peek.
::finger snap::
Oh yeah…this!
In the past week, Twitter, and other online services have shut down several pages impersonating and harassing this publisher of Putnam(Redacted).com.

Ha!  You had one Twitter account shut down.  Any others (if they excisted) were so unused they were shut down by Twitter for non use.  Of course, you like to pad stats and numbers all the time, like you did with your web site numbers.  How is that clicker finger by the way?  Any others that you think you can prove were “shut down” were ones you made to make it look like people cared enough to even “harrass” you.

As far as these several “pages” you have had shut down?  That is a big fat ZERO.  He  can’t get shit pulled because they are either parody sites or sites that have only revealed the truth.  If he tries to  claim he  shut down Cryptic Bullshit.com, that’s misleading.  Lee let his subscription run out months ago. Everyone else that he has  had an issue with, is still blogging.  They  just aren’t saying shit about him  anymore.  But he keeps opening these doors and he’ll see what he gets.
In addition, several other sites are in the process of being pulled offline.
Bold faced lie.  I can’t even explain this any other way, this is a lie.
Putnam(Redacted).com is the only web site operated by this publisher. Any other sites using the publisher’s name or the name of Putnam(Redacted).com are fakes.
His  web site isn’t even a web site.  It’s where real news goes to get distorted and treated like a whore by it’s publisher.  Links to others work is the majority of the “news” on this “news web site”.  The news “articles” or breaking stories written by the publisher are so one sided and full of diatribe, they do not constitute news.  One other deed of trickery is how these “articles” are reused with slight changes to fit the needs of the publisher when something crawls up his ass for the day.  No dates!  Things are rehashed all the time and because of this singular fixation of the publisher, having no dates allows him to the trickery.
While trash blogs and other online sites irresponsibly allow anonymous comments that libel people, here at Putnam(Redacted).com we limit comments to verifiable Letters to the Publisher as part of civil discussion. In addition, the publisher of Putnam(Redacted).com does not participate in trash blogs and forums.
White trash.  I laugh in this guys face.  If anyone is the epitome of white trash, it’s this guy.  First off, his house and yard scream of white trash.  They are both a mess yet he has the audacity to complain about a salvage yard next door.  Then take a look at his wife and kid.  I’ve been to the back water town race nights for wannabe NASCAR drivers and in the stands I have seen folks that are less white trash than this guys wife and kid.  Not to mention that the publisher himself is a 300 pound, half balding, loose fitting short, croc wearing waddler.  If that isn’t white trash I don’t know what is.
Addressing the limiting of comments.  The publisher likes to say he is protecting the “readers” (ie: his index finger) from vulgar language and/or disparaging remarks or as he puts it, “libelous” statements.  Let me first state that he is the biggest opponent of free speech as I have ever seen.  The reason he won’t allow any posts or comments on his sites is because he knows for a fact that he will get caught in a lie and confronted.  So he hides behind being selective as the reason for barring comments.  He is afraid of open discussion, much like our current, socialist administration.  By the by, his verifiable letters?  They are just stolen from other news services and posted as “Letters To The Publisher.”  With this guys track record, I totally believe that Governor Manchin and his wife write him letters all the time.
::coughsbullshitcoughs::
As Flipper, the editing bottle nose pointed out, these letters are columns send to newspapers and the publisher scabs them from other places to make it look like he is on this list of reputable news sites.
And excuse me a moment.  I have to change my britches.  I just sharted when I read this line.
“In addition, the publisher of Putnam(Redacted).com does not participate in trash blogs and forums.”
Hahahahahahahahahahaha! ::pfffftb:: Damnit!  I did it again.
This has got to be one of the biggest, bold faced, out in the open, no way to prove otherwise lies he has ever told.  Lets see, he have posted at WebBrodcasting.net, Medialine.com, HuntingtonNews.net, broll.net and a host of other places as himself and with fake names.  We “trash bloggers’ have proven it time and again.  He has even created fake names to argue with himself or to defend himself.  This is very typical tactic of an internet argument seeker.  He even does it in the same posts.  Here is an example from the newest forums he has been posting at.  Hurricane Topix.
This past Sunday (October 10th), the Publisher posted the following as Mark from Nitro (Nitro was listed because that was the IP the site collected when he was online.  Like my IP can be from Burlington, Essex or Montpelier, it all depends on what connection I make.) over at the Hurricane, WV Topix comment forums.  It was in response for a guy named Eddie who posted a question about moving to Hurricane…in 2006 I might add.  Douchenozzle decides to answer him.
Eddie:
I used to live and work in Oceanside.(Crouch Street and Oceanside Schools). Welcome to West Virginia. The surf sucks, but the people (not the politicians) are rather nice! You’ll miss the fish tacos but will adopt Tudor’s.
Please send me an email to News@PutnamLIVE.com and I will fill you in on how things are in Putnam County.
BTW, we have some great schools here.
That is a classic publisher comment.  One, he is trying to “make friends” with Eddie in the hope of getting him on his side.  Two, it’s 4 years after the fact which again proves just how far the publisher goes and three, shows his obvious relevance.  Now the funny thing in all this is how the publisher has tried to post under a few names to hinder and help his cause.  he has used this tactic in several places until he gets caught and outted.  Once that happened, he posted this as The Real Mark Hallburn;
For the record, I am the REAL MARK HALLBURN!! There has been several “imposters” on this website pretending to be me and who are supporters of people Scott Edwards and Joe Haynes who want to cover up the TRUTH!!!!
“Mike” who runs a libelous website about me, “Lee” from Ohio who seemingly has an obsession with me, and countless others. All of you are ordered to CEASE AND DESIST ALL LIBELOUS POSTS ABOUT ME IMMEDIATELY OR FACE LEGAL ACTION!!!! I have consulted my personal attorney on this matter and he did advise me I have a case if this type of behavior continues.
I provide a service to the people of Putnam County by providing them with the news and facts they deserve. I’m sickened the “powers-that-be” in this county want to hide the truth. I pledge to give the good people of Putnam County what they deserve!!!!
He’s even denied he is the Mark (who is obviously the publisher by the way he comments) is not him.  So in actuality, he is threatening himself with legal action!  By the way, proof that The Real Mark Halburn is indeed Mark?  He posted this (as Mark from Nitro) to another thread after he posted his “I’m the Real Mark Hallburn” temper tantrum.
Dawn:
This is Mark Hallburn from PutnamLIVE.com and I said “Why would you care about the sexual orientation of a mini-mart clerk?” I am not homophobic as indicated by this statement. There are other people on this board impersonating me who are posting things that I don’t stand for.
Lee, you have nothing to sue me for. However, I have copies of all of your Cryptic BS blog as well as that other blog that you write. It’s a long list of libelous stuff.
He then caught himself and posted as The Real Mark Hallburn again, blaming Lee, Mike and myself of course.
One final note on his statement.  The reason he hasn’t been participating on any forums or web pages?  He’s been banned by all of them!  Including this one.  But I will be lifting said ban so that he can grab his shovel and continue to dig his own grave.  Wow, that segment was a little long winded.  Shall we move on?  A show of hands?
::raises hand::
Ok!  That’s good enough.
Meanwhile, we are gathering online evidence of harassment, stalking, and altered photographs that have been used to cyber bully Putnam(Redacted).com’s publisher, his family members, and sponsors of Putnam(Redacted).com. That evidence will be used in court against the cyber bullies, impersonators, and those that have funded and contributed to those sites.
Ah yes.  Leave it up to the publisher to jump on the current bandwagon of the bullying topic.  If people like the publisher Mark Halburn, Tyler Clemente (the gay student who jumped off a bridge for being outted) or Rigoberto Ruelas (5th grade teacher that killed himself because of a bad review) grew some god damn hair then non of this would be an issue.  The easiest way to deal with a bully is to stand up to him.  Not to get on some bandwagon and waggle a finger at them.  Fucking people like this are pussies.  Maybe it’s Mother Natures way of thinning the herd.
The publisher should be one to talk about being a bully.  It’s all he does to people that interact with him.  From physically pushing an elected official, to the 20 something year old female manager at the local pool to confronting the SWAT team that was practicing at another.  He’s the worst kind of bully and masks it by calling everyone else a bully.
It should be noted that this entire idea of the publisher collecting stuff as evidence of bullying is also a lie.  Oh sure, no doubt he is collecting stuff but it’ll be tossed right back at him when he tries to bring this to some public court system.  I remember the last time he tried to collect stuff, storing it on a web site.  I got it pulled because all he was doing was copy and pasting our work of parody.  He had no right.  Still doesn’t.  Maybe he has wised up and just started some sort of text file but it still won’t hold any water in any court.  Good luck with that Mr. Publisher.  I’ll be sure to be on the list of witnesses against you when it comes to your bullying and destroy any credibility you have.  Speaking of which, I have a call to make.
Be right back.
*beep beep boop beep boop*
If you know of any such sites, or the identity of those operating and funding those sites, please email that information to News@Putnam(Redacted).com. The information will be turned over to our lawyer.
Dear readers and dear listeners (for I will be covering this on my show for the pure entertainment this is) I implore you to report back to me on any copy and pasting the Publisher has done in his efforts to collect information.  He most likely is not reporting it as such and I can have his stuff removed, defeating him once again.
Rest assured, Putnam(Redacted).com will not be deterred from presenting hard-hitting news to our readers, no matter how much the cyber bullies waster their time. Our advice to them: Do something productive with your time!
I guess we can wrap this epic blog posting up by saying that no matter what the publisher likes to call us, be it trash bloggers, figments of ones imaginations or cyber bullies, it is not us that will deter the publisher from presenting hard hitting news to his readers.  It’ll be his own ignorance and self applause that will do it for him.
Oh and I almost forgot.  Did you happen to see how much of a love fest that article was?  I mean, the publisher mentioned putnam(redacted).com a total of 8 times (once in title, 7 times in body) and his email once (in body) in that 8 paragraph curtain puller.  That was so much self love that I have no doubt his crank is a little raw to the touch and the paper towel rolls are empty.  Dode’s gonna be pissed.
::long stretch and sniff::
It’s good to be back.  Thank you and… GOODNIGHT DETROIT!
::crowd roars::

Exposing The Publisher #5


What follows is #5 in the hard hitting series of Exposing The Publisher.  This week, guest writer Lenny B takes her shot at “The Publisher” as she tackles his latest pet peeve, county pools.  Keep in mind folks, this rant fueled article no doubt stems from his conviction of trespassing at a county pool that was upheld recently.  I now hand things over to Lenny.

By the way, I am calling this one;

Swimmin In The Deep(shit) End

All across West Virginia, Mountain State residents are enjoying their summers. Some are biking, others are hiking, more are fishing, and some are swimming in county pools.

Lenny’s Response: And some are sitting on their fat asses, with a handful of cheetos, masturbating into a sock and bitching about what everyone else is doing…

But not in Putnam County. Once a sparkling relief from the summer heat and humidity, the County Pool, in Eleanor, is now a crumbling eyesore, a symbol to the mismanagement that has badly hurt our county in recent years.

Lenny’s Response: You willing to pay for it, fatty? Because all these “improvements” you want cost money. It doesn’t just come from nowhere. Money has to be wasted on frivilous lawsuits from douchesacks like you.

Please take a close look at the photo above this editorial. Not only is the County Pool falling apart, it isn’t even covered and secured. A kid, or a vandal could scale the fence and plunge into a 10-foot concrete hole, injuring him or herself, then turn around and sue Putnam County for negligence-costing taxpayers.

Lenny’s Response: Or an obese blogger who lives in a shitty blue house might think he’ll go for a swim and enter through the side gate, then make case after case against the city along with libelous commentary about city officials.

Again, mismanagement

Lenny’s Response: Again, you’re a douche.

But this is nothing new. For several years the current Parks and Recreation Commission has been mismanaging our pools. Here are the lowlights: (From a lowlife!)

  • First they fired award-winning Parks and Recreation Director Cordie O. Hudkins-and used a Cabell County resident, Dennis Prisk, who should have been dismissed from the commission instead of being allowed to vote. Putnam County Commissioner Raymond “Joe” Haynes arrogantly tried to defend Prisk’s stay on the board despite a West Virginia law that clearly states Prisk should have been “disqualified.”

Lenny’s Response: It’s less likely that you’re pissed because Hudkins was fired – which was probably just house cleaning after a change in the local political climate. 7 of 11 commission members voted on his termination. He wasn’t popular. Sucks to be him. On to Prisk… WHY should he be disqualified? Because of where he lives? Details, asswipe. Remember your 5 W’s when writing – you’re trying to make your case here, and you just look like even more of a crybaby asshole.

  • Just a short time later, Waves of Fun was closed on Labor Day Weekend Sunday. Commission President William “Bill” Byus blamed lifeguards who he said had all returned to college and weren’t available for the weekend. Miraculously, they returned 24 hours later to work on Labor Day. Byus didn’t show up at the next commission meeting to explain that turn of events.

Lenny’s Response: There are certain numbers of people who have to be staffed to run a water park. For SAFETY reasons. You can’t just have one or two lifeguards for a place the size of Waves of Fun. It’s possible that a large number of lifeguards did return to college and were unable or unwilling to work that weekend. It happens in every business. You wouldn’t know, because you don’t have a business, but it does happen. It’s possible that there were enough lifeguards pulled from other pools to cover labor day. Again, it’s none of your business who called out and why. Seriously. NOT YOUR CONCERN.

  • A few years ago, Waves of Fun was temporarily closed by the Putnam County Health Department because of high bacteria levels. We are told it was the first time in Waves of Fun’s history that the pol had to be closed.

Lenny’s Response: And? This happens in larger water parks, public pools, etc. If you’d rather be violently ill, go ahead, dive right in. They were doing what was right for public safety. Again, go fuck yourself.

  • Then there was the time when County Pool’s manager falsely accused Putnam(BLOB).com’s Publisher, Mark Hallburn, of Assault and Trespassing when he paid full price top swim in the pool during posted business hours. He was acquitted after it was revealed that the pool was rented out for a private party later in the day and the manager wanted to use staff to clean the facility.

Lenny’s Response: And there was this time, not long ago, where you were RIGHTLY accused, and CONVICTED of trespassing in a Kanawha County pool. YOU, Mark Halburn, are convicted. Who gives a shit about you paid, city and county parks can be rented out for private functions, as well. A city is a business, a county is a business, a pool is a business within a business that makes money for the city or the county. If a business needs to be closed early to make accommodations for a private party, so be it. That’s THEIR concern. Let’s say I own a restaurant, and I have my hours posted as 10am to 9pm, and I decide that I am going to accept a higher paying private function, but I have to close at 5pm to prepare my space for it, I’m going to do it. Your $4 that you would pay for a sandwich is less of a concern. Yes, you paid, but if you’re still sitting there eating it at 5:30, I’m going to ask you to leave. If you refuse, you bet your ass I’m calling the cops. Of COURSE they use staff to clean the facility. Do you expect them to not clean it out after having a giant piece of shit like you floating in the water?

  • We are still waiting for the “inside job” robbery to be solved at County Pool. Between $800 and $1,200 was stolen, according to a police report. Retired Eleanor Chief of Police John Fleck told PutnamLIVE.com that only an employee would know where the money was kept-in a safe that was unlocked. Why was the safe unlocked? Why was the money not deposited in a bank? Why weren’t there secured receipts accounting for just how much money was stolen? Because of mismanagement.

Lenny’s Response: No. It could be because people are dishonest. Especially people who are getting paid shit money to deal with assholes like you. It may not have been in a safe, but grand scheme of things, it’s not a lot of money. Generally county run operations make only a couple hundred dollars a day, if that. Because of their low revenue they may only be doing deposits once or twice a week. Will they do things differently now? Probably. Will they be locking their safe that keeps the change they need as a day to day operating fun? Yeah, most likely. Is it any of your business where they keep their money? Nope. Not at all. Try again, fatso.

  • Haynes, Byus, and Williamson turned away a $250,000 grant to build a kiddie pool at Waves of Fun. The lame excuse was that Parks and Recreation could not afford the matching grant money. However, PutnamLIVE.com has repeatedly pointed out that the Good family home and adjacent properties on the fringe of Valley Park could have been sold to match the grant. Additionally, no fundraising was tried before the cowardly commission threw in the towel and robbed Putnam County’s children of the kiddie pool. People that mistreat children should not be in public management positions.

Lenny’s Response: It’s unlikely that the fringe properties would be worth anywhere NEAR $250k. Just like your house isn’t worth the free trees you planted in the front yard, someone has to want to buy it. Without the grant money matched, they can’t accept it. You’re not writing a check for $250k. Hell, you’re not even paying taxes, you worthless fuck. But you want everything for everyone. While we’re talking about mistreating kids… your friend Troy is an asshole. The city not being able to afford a pool? Not mistreatment. No one was robbed, and certainly not you.

It doesn’t take a rocket science to figure out that when pools are closed to the public aren’t bringing in admission fees which could be used for proper maintenance. But no one will ever accuse Andes, Byus, Haynes, Williamson and the Parks and Recreation Commissioners of being Rocket Scientists.

Lenny’s Response: Making a couple hundred dollars a day, having to pay for water, chemicals, security, life guards, management… it’s not going to be supported by a handful of people using a pool each day at $4 a pop. And no one would ever accuse you of being a rocket scientist… hell… no one would accuse you of being a decent human being.

In a state known for its obesity, Putnam County officials should be doing back flips off the 10-meter board to encourage exercising. Instead, they have done everything they can to destroy the pool system, including the destruction of the Eleanor pool.

Lenny’s Response: Eat less, move more. There are plenty of people in WV who are NOT obese. The problem is that people make choices of what to put into their bodies. With such an impoverished area, people fuel their bodies with cheap food, carbs, fats, sugars… instead of eating healthy food that fuels their bodies and is sustainable. Stop tossing back the double cheeseburgers and 55 ounce vats of Jolt Cola and go take a fucking walk. Eat less, eat healthier, move more, lose weight. Simple. Your weight problem is not because the pool is closed.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Current Parks and Recreation Director Scott W. Williamson wants to build an indoor aquatic center that can be used year-round. That’s a great idea that has been implemented for decades in towns across America. (Which shows how behind Putnam County “leadership” is.)

Lenny’s Response: Most of their time is spent dealing with your bullshit. It’s hard to drive a car when you constantly have to turn around and yell at the kids to stop kicking the seats.

However, before Putnam County taxpayers shell out the estimated more than $1 million to build an aquatic center, we need better managers. Smart people don’t hand keys to a Ferrari to someone that just totaled the Pinto. So Andes, Byus, Haynes, Williamson, and the rest of the Putnam County Parks and Recreation Commissioners need to resign. We need a new management team. A team that understands that county swimming pools are a resource of the people to be cared for, not abused.

Lenny’s Response: Kill yourself. Seriously. You need to resign from life. It’s just something else for you to bitch about while you sit in your broken down $19 WalMart office chair, one cheetos stained hand in your jockeys, and the other hand holding the magnifying glass. Smart people don’t keep doing the same thing and try to convince yourself the results will be different. In fact, that makes you crazy. And I know, you’re already certifiable. But there is no need for Andes and Co to resign. They were voted into office, and there are more people who think they are doing a fantastic job than there are of you, who thinks they are not doing such a good job. Again, you throw abuse out there, but there is no abuse. Not having funds to maintain a pool is not abusive. Get a dictionary.

Tyler’s Travels: Log #1


To give you, my dear readers, something entertaining and different, as well as show Mark Halburn how it’s done, I am introducing Tyler’s Travels.  Each time I travel for my consulting job, I am going to try and take a few snapshots and tell ya about the job I did and the town I was in.   A real Travel Feature sort of idea.

Now, I was going to kick things off at the end of this week with a look at Holyoke, Massachusetts, where I am currently (06/09) but I have been working on something that was dropped on my desk Monday that is MUCH better to kick this series off with.  Our first Tyler’s Travel features…

Virginia Beach!

Recently I was given a small diary of sorts of a close friend that does a lot of traveling. This past Memorial Day week-end he took his family to Virginia Beach to get away for a few days. When he got back, he looked a little stressed out. Like he needed that proverbial vacation from his vacation. When I asked why he looked so worn out, he plopped this little diary of his vacation’s on my desk. All he said was;

“What ever happened in Vegas, stays in Vegas and in that little book. Otherwise, knock yourself out.”

He spun on a heel and departed without another word. Needless to say I leafed through the diary and instantly went to the Las Vegas vacation pages. Wow! I thought I got into enough trouble when I traveled! Still, true to my word, I can’t say anything about Scott’s Vegas trip. Not that I won’t press for details and permission for next time. Or, at least permission to go with him next time.

Jesus Christ.

Now, knowing I could “knock myself out” with the rest, I leafed through some more. Problem was, there was only one other trip posted in those diary pages.

“Virginia Beach?” I mumbled to myself. I had been there several times and even with the late nights I spent there, it wasn’t anything to write home about, or much less in a diary.

“Virginia Beach? What could happen with family at Virginia Beach?” I posed silently.

Then I stumbled across it.

“Oh. My. God.” I thought to myself; “Poor Scott.”

Instead of trying to describe it, I’ll let Scott’s Travel Diary speak for itself. Trust me, it’ll be interesting reading.

VIRGINA BEACH GETAWAY

May 27th, 2010

6:15AM

The alarm went off at it’s usual time this morning. If it wasn’t for this economy I’d a killed that alarm clock with a swift downward arc of my work boot, letting the heel do the explosive damage, but even at $10.99 at the local Rite Aid, a new alarm clock is just an unnecessary expense.

After fisting the top of the alarm clock twice I sat up and rubbed my face. Once I was half awake I realized that this was no ordinary day. I had the day off. Scratch that…I had the next 5 days off! I quickly got out of bed, threw open the curtains of the bedroom windows and let the sunshine roll in. A groan from the bed clued me to the fact that Tammy wasn’t even out of bed yet. Her body was warm, the bed was warm, the kid was still asleep. Hell yeah, baby. Daddy’s gonna score with his morning Louisville Slugger. If Tyler were here, he’d play a bell.

And I shall, just for Scott. ::DING!::

9:15AM

Three hours later the car was packed, Tammy was sitting in the front seat, ignoring her cross word puzzle book and texting her sister. My daughter, Tara, was in the back seat, stretched out and texting her BFF Jody every 30 seconds. Thank God for unlimited texting or I’d have to eliminate one from the herd. However, it was a wonderful Thursday morning and it was the start of my vacation, so I let them settle in for the 12 hour ride to Virginia Beach!

11:15PM

Three pee stops, a lunch break and a dinner pit stop at a Shoney’s later and we pulled into the Founders Inn & Spa looking bleary eyed, car weary but none the worse for wear. The excitement of a Virginia Beach vacation was still flowing through the veins. We checked in, got to our room and then wandered about the place to check things out before bed. Tammy was tired and headed back to the room while Tara and I made a once through around the resort and spa. Tara clicked off the things she was going to do on Saturday (it was supposed to rain) besides the shopping she and Tammy would do. The pool was high on her list, as was the nail treatments. Tammy had already gotten herself set up with a hot stone spa treatment for that day and me? Well, I planned on finding a sports bar so I could watch some ballgames most of the afternoon.

11:35PM

Back in the room and with Saturday already planned, we realized we would have to make a plan for Friday. That was definitely going to be beach day. We planned a day of it there, a nature walk and then dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. I made reservations for a little later in the evening. I’d love another swing of the Louisville Slugger but Tara is sharing our room and Tammy’s nowhere near quiet. So, it’s off to sleep and to hoping for some stolen moments in the shower in the morning.

May 28th, 2010

8:30AM

I’m awakened by the constant stabbing and incessant chiming of someone hitting keys on a cell phone.

“For God sake, Tara, we are on vacation! Can’t you shut that thing off for two minutes?”

I hadn’t even open my eyes yet but it was my wife that answered me.

“Tara’s already down at the pool, honey.” Tammy smacked my ass and continued. “Now get up and take a shower. I’m hungry and they have a continental breakfast.”

Needless to say I was famished as well. I rolled over and saw Tammy typing away and squinted.

“Seriously. I have no idea who is worse. You or Wonder Fingers down at the pool.” I laughed and threw the sheets off, wandering to the bathroom. Tammy wriggled from the bed and tossed the phone on the bed before following me in.

“I’ll show ya some Wonder Fingers, baby.” Tammy offered with a wide smile.

Oh yeah, two for two and it’s only Friday.

5:30PM

Beach was a hit! Lots of sun and plenty of honey’s in bikini’s. Tara sunned, dipped, rinsed and repeated all day, that phone stuck to her like the sand that is now in the crack of my ass. I love the beach, I really do and I love the activities that go with it, like the impromptu volleyball game I got asked to play in. Problem is, that sand is just everywhere! I’m going to have to shower twice before dinner at the Cheesecake Factory.

Oh, one minor issue. Tara was at the pool after we got back from the beach and she said she felt a little awkward while she lay in one of the chairs. Seems a portly gentlemen was there taking pictures of the kids in the pool. I reassured her he was probably taking pictures of his kids or something, you know, on vacation like us. She was certain that he had only one kid, who was yelling, screaming and causing a ruckus, but this guy didn’t seem to care. I was a bit concerned when Tara said she left because she felt he had taken a picture of her. I’m sure it’s because she isn’t in her element and was by herself.

10:30PM

Well, as much as I would like to say that dinner was perfecto (and don’t get me wrong, the food was fantastic) it wasn’t quite ‘perfecto.’ We were seated next to this family that was just unrulely! The little kid was just a snot. He didn’t want anything to eat on the menu and kept asking why he couldn’t have some KFC.

What!?

The kid is on vacation and he wants KFC. Apparently his dad feeds it to him all the time. Oh, and the dad. Jesus H Christ on a popsicle stick. This fat fuck was a complete imbecile. He complained about everything, berated his son and wife several times right at the table, went on and on and on about this Walmart he had stopped at that was soooo much better than the one at home. He even ate every scrap of food on his plate and then had the audacity to complain to the waitress that it “wasn’t to his liking”. He tried to bully the poor girl but she already seemed to have written off any tip she might be getting (quite frankly, the only thing this guy tips is the weight scales at a truck stop) and she quipped;

“By the looks, everything is to your liking.”

I guffawed at that one! She, of course, was pointing to his plate but obviously she meant his bulbous belly. And dude, buy a golf shirt that fits, would ya!

Anyway, fat boy ended up asking for the manager, he yelled and complained, got a free dinner, the waitress was yelled at by Mark and then admonished by the manager. Tammy and I felt so bad that we left her the tip she deserved for both us and Fatty Fat’s family.

I wanted to stab him in the lip with my fork by the time he got done slobbering over whatever he had to eat…as well as whatever his wife and kid ordered. He cleaned off everything they didn’t eat! It was disgusting. The wife was just blank wall by the end of the night, though she wasn’t much better. She chewed with her mouth open and was so apathetic to what this guy was complaining about, that she was just letting him go on and on. I wanted to get up and smack the life back into her but I think it would have been a lost cause.

To make matter worse, on our way back to the room Tara told me that fat boy was the guy taking pictures of her at the pool! I reassured her again that he was taking pictures of his little shit stain but now I was concerned. I just wanted her to relax.

Midnight

You have got to be kidding me. Tara and I went to the pool while Tammy stayed in the room and did her crosswords. When I got back to the room she told me that fat boy and his family…were in the room next door! Oh for the love of God! How does this happen to me? You could hear him bitching about Walmart, his mayor and the town he lived in and it was just nerve grating. Where was that damn fork. I’m going to do it. Good thing he eventually went to get some soda and ice. Tara came back looking white and peaked a few minutes after I left her. Seems tubby had walked by the pool entrance seven times, looking in each time in the span of 2 minutes. Tara got out of dodge and is now in the bathroom showering. She says his look when he was peeking in at her made her feel dirty. I left the door cracked to see if I could catch the guy coming back to his room but eventually all was quiet and I never saw him. Little fucker. I think a good nights sleep and a refreshing morning dip in the pool will be just the thing I need to shake the ending of day 2 off. I hope.

May 29th, 2010

8:30AM

I fluttered my eyes open to see Tammy sittin on the bed watching TV. Tara was in a chair dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. Once I got my bearings I asked why she wasn’t going to the pool.

“Pedophile Pete is probably already down there. They got an early start.” Tara mumbled, before burying her nose in her cell phone text conversation with Jody. I sighed. I’m going to speak to that guy if I ever get the chance. I padded to the bathroom and threw on my shorts.

“Tara, honey? I’ll go with you if you want to swim.” I posed the question and there was a long hesitation.

“Nah, I’m changing plans and going with mom to shop and then the spa later.” She answered.

I mumbled an “ok”, tugged on my shorts, kissed my girls on the head and made a dash for the pool. I’d get in a swim, refresh and then shower. Then I’d get the gals started on their shopping trip then find me a sports bar to spend the afternoon in. It was already looking a little grey so I knew we had planned correctly.

10:15AM

I think I have rubbed the skin off my face. Seriously. It’s a habit when I am irritated. I rub my face in frustration and let me tell ya, the last 45 minutes have been pure hell! I get to the pool and there is fat boy in the pool with his kid. The kid is a screaming menace! He doesn’t like the water, let alone this pool full of it, but there is this guy, flinging his kid up and down thinking his kid is enjoying it. He’s clueless. I decided this was my chance to speak to the asshole but as I made my way to the pool a group of kids came in with 4 adults. There was like 12 or 15 of them! All between the ages of 7 and 11. I was distracted for only a few seconds but when I turned back, there was fat boy creating a wake to get out of the pool. He was as giddy as a wall flower being asked to dance for the first time! He was slobbering something to his kid about getting his camera as he literally dragged the poor menace in training behind him.

At this point, I figured I’d wait, hang around to see if this guy really was snapping pics of little kids and then confront him, not just speak to him. But after 20 minutes I realized he wasn’t coming back. A Krispee Kreame must be giving away donuts or something and the smell of a freshly baked donut is like shark bait to a guy like that. At any rate, I got a swim in, relaxed and then was pretty much forced out by 15 splashing kids. They were having fun and I had my swim, so I let them have the pool.

When I got back to my room, I got my answer on where this fat boy was. There he was, dragging along beach towels, inflatable’s and his kid as his wife begrudgingly led the way.

“Hurry up Mark. You are the one that planned beach day on the only day it’s going to rain. I want to get some time in, in the sun.” Her defeated voice rang through the hallway. I stayed, watching, mouth open, like an onlooker at a beached whale rescue. Amazed at what nature can produce visually.

“Oh, bah. It’s not going to rain, Dolores. And it will only take me a few minutes to snap some pictures at the pool for my travel feature.” Fat boy stammered on, his camera flinging back and forth as it hung off his neck.

“No, you can do that later! Can we at least try and enjoy this vacation and not turn it into some working travel feature for your stupid blog?!” She piped up

“It’s not a blog, damnit!” Defeated, Mark let the door close behind him as they headed to the beach. I stood there a moment, perplexed.

“What. The hell. Was that?” I asked myself as I slide my key card to open the door.

5:00PM

Holy crap, did it rain! I mean, we are talking storm, wind, hail, the whole nine years. I spent the day quaffing brews at Smoky Bones BBQ just a short drive away. I met up with the ladies of my life at 4:30 to see how their day went and to plan dinner. Seems Tammy went to the buffet in the morning and there wasn’t much left. She made mention of the fact that a place such as this should have enough buffet food for everyone if they were going to advertise how good it was. When told there should be more than enough to cover even the heartiest of eaters, my wife had to differ. I guess the shock on the Inn’s manager was classic. He had never seen such devastation of his continental breakfast. According to eye witnesses some heavy set man tore through free breakfast in the morning like the rain storm did in the afternoon. To say the least, the manager promised it would not happen again.

“I’ll post guards if I have to!” He said.

My wife and child were stuck with half a bagel and a pad of butter, between the two of them. I knew exactly who they were talking about. I was bound and determined to give this guy a piece of my mind for causing so much anguish in just 12 hours! Speaking of the dick bag, I heard him in the hallway when they got back to the room. Seems he got caught in the middle of the rainstorm when they got to the beach…a mere 15 minutes after he paid 15 bucks for parking! Ha! Some people never do their homework. We went yesterday and never paid a dime to park. A little walking doesn’t hurt. Well, in my case. This guy? He could have used it.

Speaking of the rain and the crazy hotel neighbor, when I ran out to the car to grab my wallet, I stumbled across this and had to take a picture.

Really, fat boy? You have nothing better to do than to parade your naked white ass and man tits around in a clear rain coat? I was so sick to my stomach I had to take this picture so others could feel my pain. What the hell is that?! A cloak on invisibility with dead batteries?

Anyway, we are off to the aquarium. My daughter is all excited to see dolphins and the orca they have there. Gonna grab hot dogs at a shack somewhere on the beach, now that it is clearing off.

10:30PM

Well, not a bad evening if I do say so myself. My daughter loved the aquarium despite the fact she could not see the orca perform. Seems an incident earlier in the day involving a screaming child and his obese father has depressed the whale and it’s just floating there in the whale pool. After the incident a few months ago, no trainer wants to take a chance being in the pool with it. I had to wonder if it was Mark Fatman that had been involved. Nah, no possible way. Tara did enjoy the dolphins, as did I. After grabbing dogs and soda’s on the beach, we made our way back to Founders and I talked Tara into going for a swim in the pool. Maybe we could have a few minutes to bond while Tammy did her hot stone massage.

I could not believe that this Mark guy was back in the pool with his screaming kid again! Does this guy let anyone else use the pool? By the looks, he had driven everyone else away. Tara took one look at the fat slob in the pool and stopped cold. I looked around and didn’t see his camera, I told Tara to relax. We got in the deep end and kept to ourselves as fat boy played in the water. He then started telling his kid, who was now sitting on the cement edge, shivering.

“How about that Walmart, kiddo? Looks like they know how to treat their neighbors.” He said, quite off hand.

Are you serious? The kid is like 5! He has no clue about any of that and here is this guy, talking to the kid like he knows all about it. I mean really, don’t you have something better to talk to your kid about?! I just want to face palm this guy because he won’t shut up about Walmart. It’s f’ing Walmart! Shut! Up!

Fat boy and his kid eventually left to see if anyone left some stray Oreo cookies on the roof of their car, or some shit like that. I didn’t care. I was able to swim for 40 minutes with my daughter in peace. As nervous as she was around him, she was just as opposite when he left. She even took a few cracks at his, well, er, crack, that was evident when he was launching himself from the pool.

“He should get swim shirts that fit.” Tara laughed.

“There’s no Big & Tall store big enough for that guy.” I added.

A little bit later we met up with Tammy. We had all decided on watching a late showing of Robin Hood. So we all got showered, changed and headed to the cinema. We could hear Mark in his room complaining about the cost of a package of cookies from the vending machine. In the car, Tammy made mention that Mark’s wife, or whoever that poor woman was, complained the entire time during the hot stone massage that the stones were…yeah, you guessed it. Too hot. No one in that family can be pleased.

The day ended on a good note. The movie was fun, we all had a good time and it was quiet when we got back. Tara is off talking to her boyfriend on the cell phone and won’t be back for at least 40 minutes. Just enough time to see if Tammy has energy to rub the ole Louisville Slugger.

May 30th, 2010

8:30AM

I really hope my day goes better than how it started. The fat guy next to us must have sleep apnea or something. That bastard snored all night long and at one point, I felt like it literally shook the walls. I mean it was so bad I had to check to make sure. I finally banged on the wall and screamed for some peace and quiet! Jesus Christ he should use a machine, either to help him sleep or put him our of his misery.

Oh, went to breakfast this morning and got some good chow, despite the fact that fat boy was raising a stink about being asked to take only what he can eat. Have you looked at this guy? He can eat whatever is put out! Anyway, the armed guards the manager promised the day before escorted him out and we all a peaceful breakfast.

4:30PM

Wow! Day has gone great. While Tammy and Tara got ready for the day, I took a drive up to Trader Joe’s to pick up a few items. I got the LAST two bottles of Cherry Cider! Score! They said they probably won’t have any more of that for a week, so I grabbed both. My wife loves the stuff.

We decided to the boardwalk and it was awesome. Tammy and Tara shopped for the souvenirs’ today and did a pretty good job. I love to people watch too and this was a perfect place. While they shopped, I found a place to sit and have a couple of brews and people watch. My oh my the ladies in bikini’s was just breath taking. Lunch was a pizza split with the three of us and it was very good. Right now we are all getting fancied up and headed to a cruise dinner on Virginia’s Jewel Charters Cruises! I heard about this idea from an older gentlemen and his wife at breakfast and it seems like a great idea!

11:35PM

Well, our time here is almost over. We had a great dinner on the cruise, better than Walt (the older gentlemen) had even described. Food was amazing. The sunset was even more amazing. Definitely a must do on any vacation at Virginia Beach. Oh, funny thing when we got back. While we were coming down the hallway, old fat boy was coming at us from the other direction, dripping wet. He was at the pool again! Good Christ!

I was going to finally have my chance to speak with him but he was on his cell phone complaining to someone about Trader Joe’s not having Cherry cider!

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Now that was the best thing I heard all week.   Twenty minutes later I ran into him (my life flashed before my eyes) in the hallways as I headed to the vending machine. He has his head buried in his cell phone, texting! Doesn’t anyone communicate face to face anymore? He was mumbling something about Mayor Edwards and Walmart again. What the hell? Is this all he does? I’m afraid it is by the sounds. The guy must have no life. I finally spoke up, on a whim.

“Hey douchebag. If everyone else is wrong and you are the only one right, who’s really wrong and who’s really right?” I shot him my best smile and padded off down the hallway, proud that I kept my calm and just got in a good poke. I’m heading to bed soon as it will be a long drive tomorrow!

May 31st, 2010

11:00PM

Well, I am tired. We had everything packed up so we could get an early start on the trip home last night, so I had packed away the Acer. But I could not end this travel feature without a check out story! Of course, it deals with this wretched fat boy soul by the name of Mark. As Tammy and Tara went to pack up the car, I went to check out and say thank you to the staff for an excellent week. Low and behold when I get to the front desk there is a huge line of people. There is fat boy, complaining to the manager! He doesn’t want to pay his bill because the week was “so horrible”. Here is a laundry list of this guys complaints, all so he could gegt out of this weeks bill he rang up;

The room was too cold.

The room was too hot.

It rained on Friday.

He didn’t like the breakfast buffet.

His kid hated the pool.

Dinner’s were not cooked to his liking.

Waitress was inexperienced.

The Aquarium charged too much.

The shower in he room wasn’t strong enough.

The stones for his wife’s massage were too hot.

The Oreo’s in the vending machine were too expensive.

The other guests were rude (that’s my fault!)

The list went on and on. Finally, the police were called and Mark was escorted out of the building and held in custody until the bill was paid. Mark complained abo9ut police brutality and said he was going to sue everyone within shouting distance for 10 million dollars. No! I am not making this up. He actually said that!

Long story short, I finally was able to get through the long check out line created by the human rain delay and when I walked out to the car, I ran into Mark trying to make some money to pay for his hotel bill. Warning, it isn’t pretty.

So there ya have it, diary. My week at Virginia Beach!