Well, that didn’t take long. Our favorite West Virginian visitor (he’s still in a hurry to get out of there) has revived his Enduring Wal Mart Blog. He’s sort of hidden it with a new URL and burying the link under a “business news” article about Wal Mart.
Business news. ::chuckles:: More like the usual whine and cheese fest postings. At any rate, as promised, I would bring you the postings so you don’t have to search for or click the link to the new Enduring blog. It was updated on the 15th of February so that is where we begin!
“February 15th, 2010: Walmart’s snow plow is keeping us from sleeping past 11:00 p.m. until about midnight. We have to work tomorrow. When does Walmart expect us to sleep?”
My Response: I find myself singing to the tune of Welcome Back, Kotter as I work up this response to the newly returned Enduring Wal Mart (Attack) Blog. Didn’t I tell you it’d be back? Yes, yes I did. Here’s proof.
“Folks? At 10:21PM EST Mike Ballburn and I predict the following. If Mark doesn’t stroke out and does take down the blog about Wal Mart, he will continue to post offline and then bring it back when he thinks all has cleared. I can wait.”
And wait I did. It took just about one month. After his conviction of trespassing back in January, things had gotten really quiet around the Publishers surroundings. No doubt he thought if he just laid low, didn’t post much to his trashy site and didn’t raise a stink at all everything would clear. But you see, Mr. Publisher, Mark, I told you we could wait. You are like the crack addict that shows up at a certain corner when he really needs a score. And just like that crack addict is desperate for his fix, you are desperate for your attention. But, just like that crack addict, nothing ever changes. The need for crack overpowers all and you? You just post the same crap every day. More snow plow noise. More traffic noise. Seriously, dude. It’s all in your head. Get it checked.
::flips him a quarter::
Oh…do me a favor and have a rat gnaw off that mole on your ass.
“February 16th, 2010: We are awakened at 4:10 a.m. by Walmart’s snow plow. Keep in mind that it kept us awake until midnight. When I call the store to complain, my call is disconnected before a manager even picks up. I send an email to Silly Scotty Edwards but he doesn’t reply. When I call Putnam Dispatch, they promise to send over an officer, but nothing happens. A text message to Walmart’s Market Manager, Eddie Bostic, gets no results. At 5:21 I finally reach an Assistant Manager, “Missy” who promises to stop the noise-but it continues unabated. When does Walmart expect us to sleep? I post a link to this blog on my Facebook page. It’s time to spread the word nationally among my network of friends.”
My Response: Mark!? Dude, come on. There is no God Damn snow left to move! You are dreaming all this shit, man! Seriously. No way the plows are out 24/7 over there you giant skid mark. Give this a rest. You lie worse than that fishy smell in a house of ill repute. The reason your call was disconnected is simple. They don’t want to talk to you, they don’t have to talk to you. The reason there was no response from Scott Edwards is because you have bothered that man enough and…see above. The reason you got no response from the cops (I don’t believe you called them anyway) is they don’t want to help you. You don’t deserve the help. You have offended everyone of those towns people with this very blog. The reason your text to Bostic met no results is the same reason your first call got no results. They ignore you because you are the crazy, old, fat guy that can’t stand it when a tick farts. So why did “Missy” say she would take care of it? Because they were sick of your incessant, 5 year old like whining! At least your last line has some truth in it. It’s time to spread the word nationally. That word being…you are a crazy bastard.
February 17th, 2010: …
February 18th, 2010: …
February 19th, 2010: …
February 20th, 2010: …
My Response: ::crickets:: Pretty quiet on the West Virginia front, eh? No doubt he is stock piling all his complaints over there on the Enduring blog, forcing me to check his site every so often.
Ha! What he doesn’t know won’t kill him.
My fingers were getting itchy though, so I thought I would perhaps comment and predict. I predict…oh hell. Do I need to predict anything with Mark’s Wal Mart complaints? Was there more snow this week? If so, then there will be more complaints about the snow plows. He’ll no doubt be suing “Missy” for falsely telling him she would take care of the noise problem. He’ll be ranting about “Slick” Scotty Edwards for not fulfilling his role as mayor and getting roads paved and a wall built.
::taps his chin::
Oh…he’ll mention all us trash bloggers, of course. Maybe a KFC/Taco bell giveaway screw up? Hell, he may even threaten to pull the blog again because I jumped right on his “return” and picked up where I left off.
But no doubt he’ll have a post up in a few days with more rambling complaints for each day, just posted all at once. It makes my job easy really. I can answer all at once and only spend 10 minutes of my life, making his worse.
“February 21st, 2010: The trash blogs are at it again. They can’t stand the fact that we want to be able to sleep at 4:10 a.m. Of course, since most of the trash bloggers don’t have jobs, they are up all night playing with their three Internet friends or playing Dungeons and Dragons! Or playing with other things… These idiots need a life… and therapy!”
My Response: Hahahaha! Mark made a funny. Though, he pulled a hammy going for it. Mark, none of us “trash bloggers” have papers saying we need therapy…you on the other hand?
Speaking of a life, I’d like to make a point here. I own my own, REAL business and…get this…pay my taxes.
::shock and awe::
I know, right?
To continue. I run my own business, am a consultant 2-3 days a week at my other place of employment, write, produce, promote and broadcast my own radio show and am the bowling league’s financial officer on Sunday nights. I volunteer with the local food shelf by collecting food for the needy as well as cash and check donations. I have family I see every night and spend time with and friends I see every day and hang out with every other Friday. I also travel a lot for my consulting job, when the need arises. Basically Mark, I do more in one single day than you do all week. About the only thing you have an edge on me in is the bucket of chicken count. That’s a weekly shut out win for you a week, pally.
“February 22nd, 2010: Another day of excessive Walmart traffic noise and another day of excessive trash talking on the trash blogs. Good grief, those people are idiots! Meanwhile, I am compiling a photo file of Walmarts across the country that are separated from neighborhoods by trees and sound walls. And Silly Scotty denies getting my Freedom of Information Act request for zoning records for my neighborhood-DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE SENT ME AN EMAIL ASKING ME TO DIRECT THE REQUEST TO BEN NEWHOUSE-WHICH I DID! So, I dropped off a duplicate copy at City Hall. It’s just another Edwards stall tactic. Hurricane needs an ethical mayor. I may run in 2011 if we are still here. THAT will clean up city hall!”
My Response: God damnit! Mark, you owe me a pair of underwear. Haynes four pack from Wal Mart, to be exact. Why? You just made me piss my pants.
YOU, run for Mayor? OH MY GOD FUNNY!
Mark, seriously. I’m years ahead of you intellectually and I would never be able to run for any sort of political office. You say these things out of frustration but will never, ever do anything about it. Mark? Some people will say you don’t think at all. I beg to differ. You are a thinker. The problem is, you speak (or post) before thinking things through. You will never run for Mayor, period. If this drives you to do so? You will get one vote. One. Yours. Even your wife wouldn’t vote for you. Mayor. Ha!
As far as your Freedom of Information Act request? If I were Scott Edwards, I’d say screw you. You don’t deserve to be handed any information to use in any way, shape or form. You are the lowest of lows when it comes to being an American citizen, Mark. Why? Simple. You have never done a thing to deserve the proper respect and treatment that the general populace deserves in these United States. To me, you are as equivalent as an anchor baby. Lucky enough to have been born here but when it comes right down to it, you have done nothing to deserve our rights the Constitution says you have.
And this, Mark, is why you don’t deserve the right to sleep at 4:10AM
Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go change my pants.
“February 23rd, 2010: One of the trash bloggers sends my wife a message through Facebook accusing me of stalking another trash blogger. It is amazing how outrageous these people get! To go after my wife shows how desperate they are.”
My Response: I gotta be honest here. This is a tame response from Mark Halburn regarding something like this. I half expected him to lose his shit totally after the Facebook message from Lee to his “wife.”
But here is the thing. Mark? Your wife doesn’t touch computers. That’s my firm belief. She has seen what a total, raving lunatic you are when you are on yours so there is no way she would want to get close to one. That said, you are your wife when it comes to this Facebook page. Oh sure, she probably let you make a page for her but she has never once typed up any of those messages on her site. It’s all been you.
That response YOU wrote back to Lee from his warning sent to your wifes FB page? That’s got you written all over it. Don’t even try and deny it, Mark. We have seen you rant, rage, piss (your pants) and moan the last year and I think by now we have a pretty good idea how you operate. Don’t even try and deny it.
Now, to the point. There was no attack in that email from Lee to “Doedy”. Just a simple statement of fact. You were in the DC area last September. You were not there to do some prearranged “travel feature” for your “news” site. You were there to harass Jacque Jo because she had gotten the better of you by outing your entitlement, your selfishness, your laziness and your out and out lying to people.
On September 3rd, you were so bent out of shape about this post that you started calling the office of Jacque Jo at around 111AM. 10 times in 15 minutes! And, as always, you were not very nice to the receptionist.
Sidebar: Do you still bully women, Mark, even though they fight back now?
A couple of weeks later? You were hitting PutnamLIES from Vienna, VA. I call bullshit here, Mark. No way was this a preplanned “travel feature” trip. We already know those are complete and utter hogwash lies. You just steal pictures and content and post it as your own. So no way were you in VA doing some sort of “feature” for your site.
You were stalking.
Lee (as much as I actually do wish it was done differently) took it upon himself to warn your wife via her Facebook. Now, had he consulted me about it, I would have told him it’s a moot point because you created that FB page for her and no doubt (even with the off chance she does spend some time on it) check it every 15 minutes. She STILL doesn’t know he has a pillow named Girl Of Words and that he took a jaunt to good ole Vienna (using his “free nights” when he was working as a bell hop for Comfort) to harass someone that got the best of him.
So there ya have it. It’s not so outragous, is it Mark, when details are shared. Facts given. And again, there was no attack, only a warning, which never made it to it’s intended. As someone is fond of saying in our circles of “trash blogs”…
…the beat goes on.
“February 24th, 2010: I notify the Lawrence County, Ohio, Sheriff’s Department about harassment from one of the trash bloggers. We set a daily record for readership. If these trash bloggers think they are hurting PutnamLIVE.com, they are wasting their time! They threaten to contact my employer. This will result in legal action to take them down.”
My Response: It will never happen, pally. You see, all this? All this crap we put you through on a daily basis…I mean, besides the fact you brought it all on yourself? Is just an Internet sandbox fight. It doesn’t matter to anyone but you and those that don’t like you. You feel threatened because we are looking to take readers away from your site? Boohoo clown boy. It’s called business. When someone else is better than you, you eventually have to deal with it.
Threatened by the fact that someone may email or send a hard copy of your mental evaluation or the antics as an irresponsible douche bag that you are here on the net? Or the fact that you are advertising businesses that don’t want to be on your site? Or the fact that you don’t pay B&O taxes on your supposed “news site”? Well, deal with that too. We didn’t have anything to do with any of that stuff. We just pointed that out.
If you lose your job, it’s your own fault for your past (and present) mistakes. End of story.
“February 25th, 2010: The trash bloggers continue to harass me. So does Walmart with its excessive noise. Still, we are on target to beat our February readership numbers. PutnamLIVE.com’s readers are intelligent enough to see that the trash bloggers from out-of-state don’t have a clue about what happens in Putnam County.”
My Response: Hey Mark. Your “readership” is pretty much…you. Your site counter counts every visit and refresh that YOU make. You update a blog post, post an article, update an article, post a new picture, look at your site, review and repost. It all counts as a hit to your web site. Next thing you know, you got 200 hits, easy, in the first hour of your day. Fuck your inflated stats. Now, I’m not saying you don’t have readers. I am sure you do. Those that stumble across your site because WE have made it infamous or those that are using certain keywords.
If you have regular readers? Then they drink the same poison laden juice you drink. Stop with the bullshit, Marko. Oh yeah. Nice “matter of fact” metion of Wal Mart in a blog about Wal Mart. You make me laugh, you crazy bastard you. Oh yeah, one more point. Your “regular” punch drinkers? They never get to see what you and we have to say on our “trash blogs” because you don’t do us the courtesy of allowing us to post on your site.
“February 26th, 2010: Walmart’s snow plow keeps us awake until nearly midnight while it plows in a blizzard. How may customers does Wally World think will come out at 1:00 a.m. to shop in a blizzard! Send the snow plow and your employees home, Walmart! Show some common sense and courtesy! Meanwhile, we break our previous record for February readership! The out-of-state trash bloggers can’t stop PutnamLIVE.com from success!”
My Response: No, no we can’t. Not when you sit there hitting refresh every two minutes looking to break your own record. Speaking of record, again with the Wal Mart plows. I can’t wait til spring when it’s the Wal Mart street sweepers out every night. Mark, you know this isn’t going down the way you say it is. You are delusional. Oh no, I’m not saying they aren’t out there doing some work during a blizzard, but Jesus Fucking Christ, Mark! It’s a blizzard! And apparently you didn’t read this comment!
“Wal Mart hires a private contractor. The only time it is the most cost effective and feasible safety wise, is late at night or early in the morning. GOW has pointed out the reasons why already and may I add, quite well.”
February 22nd, 6:21PM. Scroll down.
“February 27th, 2010: Inconsiderate Walmart sends its tractor plow out early on a Saturday and wakes me up. Why they simply don’t use a pickup truck (like they have used on other days) to plow their parking lot is unknown. I guess they don’t have enough common sense or courtesy to make such an intelligent decision. I take my car to Midway Ford to get its oil changed. If Walmart won’t be nice to our neighborhood, I will spend my money at a RESPONSIBLE business!”
My Response: I called Wal Mart this morning at 1AM and asked them to hurry up on the snow removal. I suggested the tractor plow so it would go quicker. I then called Midway Ford and verify the oil change. Indeed he was there….however, they stole the change out of his console and left the cap a little loose on his oil pan. They love to fuck with “the crazy bastard from Grace drive.” I was tickled so, I giggled.
“February 28th, 2010: Another Sunday is destroyed by excessive Walmart traffic noise. Speaking of noise, the out-of-state trash bloggers are up to their lies. One is accusing me of calling him on his cellphone at about midnight, late Saturday. There are several problems with his blatant lie: 1) I have contacted the West Virginia State Police and Lawrence County Sheriff’s Department about his harassment. 2) I don’t have any of his telephone numbers, including his cell number, so I can’t call him. 3) I was asleep. 4) I have witnesses who know that I was asleep. 5) I have a CPAP machine with a memory card that proves I was asleep at the time that he made his accusation. In fact, I went to sleep more than 15 minutes before he accuses me of calling him. The great news about today is that PutnamLIVE.com set a February record for readership, more than 35,000 visits! This is our third-straight month for setting a record for that month, and puts us on target for about 20,000 readers more than last year’s 417,324 visits. You, the intelligent readers of PutnamLIVE.com can see through the lies of the trash bloggers and their continued false attacks! The fact that our readership and sponsorship continues is driving the trash bloggers nuts. They don’t know when to quit harassing me. Thank you for your continued support!!!”
Lets see what we have here today. Ah yes. Of course, the obligatory complaint against Wal Mart, because, after all, it is a complaint blog about Wal Mart. So the first line is just to throw something up there to validate the blog itself. Which we already have determined to be one big lie due to the fact that Mark sleeps using a CPAP machine, which we all know you can’t hear a fucking thing over those. So the last 5 years of bitching about Wal Mart is false. Just lies upon lies.
This is a great mug of root beer. I highly recommend IBC Root beer.
Ok, what’s next? Ohhhh…
::chuckles to himself::
Look at this. We “trash bloggers” are mentioned once again. How exciting! You know what really tickles my package here? The fact that we have been able to turn his Wal Mart blog into a bitch fest about us “trash bloggers” than an Enduring The New Hurricane Wal mart blog. I call that a success of something, that’s for sure. We have forced him to do other than what he wanted. Of course, he posts all this crap about us without us having the ability to comment on his posts, thereby giving the “readers” only one side of the story. Something a news site would do in a heartbeat. But no, not Mark. He only lets his “readers” see what he wants.
::siiip, lip smack:: Man, this good stuff.
Ok. Lets see here. Lets take a look the first part of his posting for the day. The complaint against Lee and this call he says he never made to our fellow “trash blogger.”
::sips and nods as he reads:: Ah yes. I see he has once again omitted things or outright lied. I have a copy of what Lee sent to Deloris’ Facebook account last week and it did indeed include his phone number, so Mark lied about not having it. Of course, Mark omitted that point in any copy and paste he had done on his little Lee Mays page. See? He never allows all the details to be seen or heard. By the way, Mark? Number 1 on your “problem” list? Is not a problem, but rather a supposed remedy. So it’s out of place.
Number 3 on the list is a lie. That’s obvious. You never sleep, or so you would have us believe with all your other lies. So which is it? Anyway, we can refute #3 as you say you can prove with #4. We have evidence that you were on my site and then PutnamLIES 15 to 20 minutes before you made your prank call to Lee. So no way were you fully asleep 15 minutes before the 11:56 PM call. The two adults that can verify this Mark are just like all your noise problems from Wal Mart you complain about. Figments of your imagination. And finally, number 5 on your problem list. Your CPAP memory card knows y=when you were asleep. You, sir, are the most retarded individual I have ever met if you actually believe that. A computer memory card can not tell you if you are asleep or not, you fat fuck. CPAP machines will only record how much it’s being used. Not weather the users is wearing the mask, is sleeping, eating Cheetos or jerkin off to the half naked chicks on the Benny Hill Show. Your theory of a CPAP machine knowing when you are sleeping is like Santa Clause knowing when you have been bad or good. It’s a myth.
Disclaimer: My apologies to those that still believe but sometimes, brutal honesty is the only tactic.
::siiips:: Oh man, I am almost done. Might need another root beer here soon.
Ok. Onto the last part of Mark’s post of the day here. Ohhh my! Look how giddy mark is. He is all excited abo9ut setting some new readership records. Wow! And look at that! He’s set records the last three months in a row! Wow!
::sissssps….empty cup:: Damnit.
Interesting to note here. Three months ago Mark got canned from Comfort Inn? Right? or something close to that? Huh. Really now. And yer telling me that since then, he has set readership records? Well, now. There is only one reason for that.
::clicky ckicky cklicky!::
There ya go folks. Proof that it’s Mark and us “trash bloggers” that visit his site for tid bits to rip with that are creating this windfall of “readers”. You are welcome mark, and thanks for the lovely kudos at the end there. Yes, we are intelligent readers. But, you are far from driving us nuts, Mark, you are driving us to crack a little smile each time you tout your web hits. Which, to this day, are still not verified by an independent source. So your little 3 month vacation has been good to your site only for the fact you have more time to click your own site and refresh over and over. And really Mark? Is that any way to live? I don’t think so. God, I wish for once you would tell the truth.
Well…I need to hunt down some more IBC and I have run out of time on my lunch break. So, I gotta finish typing this up. Oh yeah, one last point here that just came to my attention. Remember you said that you could not access this or any of our sites from school? Well golly gee….I wonder what this is?
P.S: Sorry about that. I had posted before editing…wow, atrocious! All better now.