Exposing The Publisher #9


Shhhhhhhh…can you hear that?

::crickets::

Yeah. I know. It’s been pretty quiet around the State Of Mind hidden offices lately. Between the rat race, the radio show, family and good friends, I’ve been busy and really? I can’t complain about any of that. That doesn’t mean I have neglected my duties to Exposing The Publisher, however. I’ve recently come across a few articles written by the West Virginia Mad Man, Mark Halburn and have been verifying certain details so that I can bring you the ninth installment of Exposing The Publisher.

I call this one The Crickets Are Crying. Don’t ask me why. I think it’s because I started out with a cricket joke. I’ll probably end with one as well.

Now, lets lay out a little back story first. Remember when The Publisher got all bent out of shape about not being able to swim in the pool Waves of Fun during a Dog Swim? It was an event for pets sponsored and supported by the Putnam County Parks and Recreation Department. They spent roughly $250 bucks and made close to $2000 for the pampered pooches that day. The Publisher boo hoo’d and whined because he couldn’t go for a swim and then tried to claim they spent over $1100. He, of course, was proven wrong.

Most recently The Publisher posted an opinion piece on his blog (we are no longer referring to it as a “news site”) that centered on an investigation into the Putnam County Animal Shelter. Since The Publisher still insists on calling his blog a “news site” and continues to lie to his readers (ie: his clicker finger) I decided it would be a good time to get the writing juices flowing and pop out good ole #9.

The Publisher was pretty blunt by calling this “FBI Looking Into New Animal Shelter Spending.”

Lets begin, shall we?

“The Federal Bureau of Investigation has been asked to look into the spending of private funds for the new Putnam County Animal Shelter.”

Yeah. You know who “asked to look into” things? The Publisher himself. No one else. He didn’t get any calls. He didn’t get any letters. No one but him has said boo. Just because of The Publisher’s petty little jealousy of dogs and cats, just because he regrets his criminal records concerning trespassing and pools, he has to come up with a story, spread some horse manure around in the right area’s and call it a bed of flowers. I call it what it is. Bullshi….wait. Horseshit. Yeah. Horseshit.

“Putnam(redacted).com received a return call this week from a Charleston agent whose name we are withholding.”

Ok. Lets see if I can rephrase this the right way, so it makes sense and tells the TRUTH. Lets, for a moment, give The Publisher the benefit of the doubt and say he did indeed get a call back from an agent of the FBI. One, the only reason he would have gotten a call back was because The Publisher probably harassed the answering machine of some poor sap that was told to cover the office while the other agents went out to make some real busts.

Two, the call was probably a return call to tell The Publisher that he’s a crack pot, they don’t have any authority over the Putnam County Animal Shelter and that if he called back again, there would be an investigation alright, but it wouldn’t be into the PCAS. I’m sure the agent may have used the words douchebag, fat boy and pudgy digits, but don’t quote me on that. Really though? This is just a out and out lie and no phone call ever took place. According to phone records, there was none. I could just stop here, but lets tear down more of The Publisher’s dream.

“At issue, apparently, is whether or not work at the new site has gone through a bidding process.”

How about a different question here. Why would the FBI even care about this?

“It’s a gray area,” the agent says, who disclosed that he will be reviewing the matter with the United States Attorney.”

::coughsBULLSHITcoughs::

Excuse me. I had a little phlegm there. Actually, no. I don’t have any phlegm. I do call bullshit here. He is now quoting some figment FBI agent of his imagination. You can get in trouble for this kind of stuff.

“Earlier this year, Putnam(redacted).com received several telephone calls asking questions about bids. We spoke with former fundraising chair Jeff Barnes who says the only spending he did was for the annual Fur Balls and confirmed each had a bidding process. However, Barnes says he never spent any of the money raised for work at the new site.”

Again, I call Shenanigans. Why anyone would call this guy, of all people, with his reputation, about the bidding process of the PCAS is beyond me? No one called him. It was just his vivid imagination that once again ran wild with an idea and manifested itself into more sock puppets “creating” a story. He then called and harassed yet another county employee and tried a little yellow journalism by getting a quote from someone that could be involved, just because he’ did some fund raising.

“When Putnam(redacted).com filed a Freedom of Information Act Request with Putnam County Manager Brian Donat, his response was that the county was never in possession of the private funds and has not spent any of that money.”

Of course that was the response. There is no story here. There wasn’t even a need for an FOIA here. It was just The Publisher trying to feel and look important by filing this document and that document and doing a little yellow journalism.

“After contacting the West Virginia State Police we were referred to the F.B.I. who confirmed they had already been contacted about the issue.”

::coughsBULLSHITcoughs::

Ahnnn…ahemmmm…arkahhhh…

Wow, must be a frog in my throat. No. No wait. No frog either. I’m calling more bullshit. Again, it comes down to phone records.

“We spoke with Pray Construction President Mark Grigsby and asked whether he had to bid out the work that his company has done at the new site. He declined to comment other than to say, “We don’t comment about our business with private firms. This was not a government contract.”

“It is important to note that no charges have been filed against anyone about this issue, only that questions are being asked. Karen Haynes is now in charge of private fundraising. She has not been accused of breaking any laws.”

“We will update this situation if anything develops.

Well now. We finally come to it. Right there in his own attack piece, The publisher answers his own question. “This is not a Government contract.” Pretty much tells you right there that the State Police or the FBI need not be involved in anything as far as an investigation into the PCAS. Once again, quite simply, this is a vendetta piece by The Publisher because he couldn’t swim in a fucking pool that he once again obsessed over because he couldn’t keep his hairy, fat body from dripping some sweat down his back and into his stained Fruit of the Looms.

As a former journalist and the concerned adopted son of Hurricane, West Virginia, I felt it was my duty to lay out before you the worst attempt at yellow journalism that’s come down the pipe since the August 29th, 2007 article that read “Bush Calls for the Mass Murder of Iranians!” over on Inforwars.

The next call The Publisher should get from any federal, state or country official should be one that will send a couple of guys in white suits and a jacket that goes on backwards.

I now return you to the concerto of crickets.

::crickets::

Exposing The Publisher #8


West Virginia Man Caught In Lie!

Mark Halburn. Family man, blogger, KFC fiend….and liar.

Recently the Great White Shart has been spotted leaving his slimy trail of hoo hah around the Hurricane, WV Topix Forums. I can only assume that he figured no one would be watching. He thought it was safe to go back into the commenting waters.

Wrrr…wrrrr…wrrrrr…wrrrrrong!

Already having posted under the name of Mark with an IP hit of Nitro, WV, Mark left several different comments on a few topics at Topix. Not a big deal, just his usual rantings and copy and paste efforts and his always present linkage to the his putnam(blargh).com web site.

In his wisdom, he decided to rant and rave under the guise of “Lee” (also with a Nitro IP hit), whom he of course took the name from the infamous Lee from Cryptic Bullshit, and posted several lame shots at the Hurricane political elite. It’s a tactic called Wingmanning.

After a few hours, he got caught. It, of course, escalated. He then went on a big back track attempt by creating an account and making a post under the name of The Real Mark Hallburn. Of course, I have since proven that The Real Mark Hallburn, Lee (from Nitro) and Mark (from Nitro) are all…Mark Hallburn.

Fast forward.

In Post #11 under the “Gazette makes endorsements in Putnam election” thread, Mark (in response to someone using his own name…which is funny as all get out in this case) had the following to say.

LIES by yet more libelous statements made by people hiding under false names to try and discredit me and my family!!!!

I have NEVER set foot in that vile place! My family and I shop elsewhere for our grocery and merchandise needs!!

Wal-Mart and the Putnam County leaders that allowed such poison into this fair county are a disgrace and they can’t stand it when I print the TRUTH!!!!

Many Thanks!
Mark Hallburn
Publisher
putnam(redacted).com
(304) 415-NEWS

Wait. Did you miss it? Go back and read line #2 there. What what?! He’s never set foot in that Walmart?

BLASPHEMER!

::insane Preacher point::

I have the proof right here. Proof that Mark himself sent this “publisher” back in the early part of the year.  Now, to protect his information, the account  numbers have been removed  (by his own doing) and I have captured only the necessary parts to prove my point.

Now, let us not forget that he has been seen at Walmart by several different alert readers and fans of various blogging sites and radio shows to prove he has been there, but we have numerical and verified proof that he has actually spent money there.

How will The Publisher deny this one?  He can’t!  I wonder what his “legal team” thinks of him now?

Lets envision, shall we?

::dream sequence music::

The scene opens up to show a close up of finger puppets all sitting around a small table, stolen from Matthews Barbie Playhouse set.

Finger Puppet Lawyer #1: Wow.  I think we have a development, gentlemen and as Mark’s legal team, we have to nip this in the bud if we are to have any chance at any sort of lawsuit.

Finger Puppet Lawyer #2: This is disastrous!  There is no way we can spin this.  Is there?

Finger Puppet Lawyer #3: Did anyone bring the KFC like we talked about at the earlier meeting?

Finger Puppet Lawyer #1: Will you shut up about that!  And Jesus Christ, wash the grease from your face.

Finger Puppet Lawyer #3: Someone said there would be chicken.

Finger Puppet Lawyer #2: Seriously, guys, I think we are up the you know what creek without a paddle.

Finger Puppet Lawyer #3: So no chicken?

Finger Puppet Lawyer #1: There has got to be a way to salvage this.  Where did Hollywood say he got this?

Finger Puppet Lawyer #2: From Mark himself.

Finger Puppet Lawyer #1: What!?  Are you f’ning kidding me?!

Finger Puppet Lawyer #3: How about some Taco Bell?

Finger Puppet Lawyer #2: I’m not kidding.  This is why I am saying we should run the other way.  Kind of like the way the democrats are running away from Obama.

Finger Puppet Lawyer #1: I think you might be right.

Finger Puppet Lawyer #3: I really wanted the chicken.

Finger Puppet Lawyer #1&2: SHUT UP ABOUT THE DAMN CHICKEN!

Dolores: Mark?  Ae you playing with your sock puppets?

Mark: Awww…Dolores!  Way to break the fourth wall there.  Damnit.

Finger Puppet Lawyer #3: Oh great, so now there really is no chicken.

Annnd scene fade.

Thank you and…GOODNIGHT CHICAGO!

::crowd roars::

It’s Called Progress (Way)!


Ya know what? I hate how this guy hides details. “The no truck zone in front of our home…” That is such bullshit. I mean really. Give me a break. The home is several hundred feet away from Grace Drive, an unpaved, original road. That being said, the road that is supposedly (I have seen no proof of this at all) a “No Truck Road” is actually Progress Way, which was built by Walmart 12 feet BELOW that of Grace Drive. It’s also further away from “the home” than Grace Drive is. Look. I have proof dating back to original construction of Progress way.

Thanks To GOW for the crop and resend!

Speaking of Progress Way, I call that a little sweet irony. I’ve always told Mark that what is going on around him is progress. I find out today the “offending” road he constantly complains about is not Grace Drive, but Progress Way! HA! I laughed until I pee’d a little. Maybe I should have that checked. I kid. I kid.

So, on to answering his questions.

1) Why can’t these Walmart delivery morons honor the no-truck zone? A) No doubt because there is no such “rule” on that road. It’s Walmarts. They can do what they want with it.

2) And why doesn’t Hurricane Police cite these idiots!(?) (I had to add the question Mark to correct his punctuation). A) Because you have bashed, libeled, and pissed off the police department (as well as the city officials) to the point that they wouldn’t send you help if you dialed 911 come break in or fire.

I gotta tell ya, if I was the Mayor of this City, I’d wait until Mark and his Korean like family (how many people live there now?) are out of the house and I’d have a wrecking ball “accidently” level the home.

No, really. I would.