5 – May 2010

April showers (and a few of Mark Halburn’s crocodile tears) usually bring May flowers.  Well, this year it also brings Mark’s hearing on his appeal for his conviction on trespassing charges.  That all takes place on May 5th!  This should be in interesting first week!

Also, since it’s been several days since a walbog update, I figured I’d reach into the Tylerbag (you sick monkey’s!) and pull up last years Mark Masterpiece from May 1st….just to get us in the mood.

BLAST FROM THE PAST!

“May 1st, 2009: Another day of excessive Walmart traffic noise and another day of the idiots ripping me on a Maryland woman’s forum. They would be funny if they weren’t so sadly off-base. NONE of them has ANY IDEA of what we deal with every day here! Living next to a Walmart is a NIGHTMARE! When a woman posts a comment supporting me, they falsely accuse ME of making the comment because the IP address matches the one at my night job. However, I was off work today and, at the time, was teaching a high school class across town! Later in the night, at 10:39 p.m. sirens wake my wife as an EMS vehicle is charging up Walmart hill. At 11:06 p.m., they choose to exit the parking lot using the road in front of our homes, siren blaring, despite the fact that the patient was closer to the OTHER access road! I certainly hope the medical patient is OK. However, this is YET ANOTHER siren that disrupts our home, highlighting why a Walmart SHOULD NOT have been built in our neighborhood! Then, a few minutes later, someone drives by with their bass unit pounding. It’s just one disruption after another!”

My Response: Ok, one year later and the saga really hasn’t changed as far as what is on paper.  Mark will be claiming all the same stuff this year.  Here’s one important difference though.  Now he is on the defensive 90% of the time.  We have swung this so far in our favor he is getting desperate.

Lets look at this post.  He says we have no idea what it is like there, yet we have 4 videos posted over at PutnumLIES that prove otherwise.  He says we accused him of posting under a womans name and that was a lie.  What he fails to mention is the fact we proved it…several times over.  He says he was teaching at the time but we all know he is a lowly substitute babysitter for the worst scoring kids in the United States.  Then he caps it off with a story about an EMS squad breaking up the quiet by going by his house.  His first reaction is to complain about the noise instead of wonder what may have happened to a fellow human being.  Real nice, dick bag.  Anyone want to take bets on when the first posts start arriving?

Come on Mark, my little marionette.  Dance!

Ok…officially off to the races…annnnd here we go…

“May 1st, 2010: Another Saturday ruined by excessive Walmart traffic noise! We enter another month of abuse by the retail giant. Silly Scotty continues to be derelict in his duties by letting his pet project get away with it!”

My Response: Another Saturday ruined by the thought of having to listen to Mark Halburn rant and rave about the retail giant, Walmart. I’m also tickled pink that we have effected this guy so much he is really lacking in what he delivers. Of course, I’d expect when he loses his appeal on Wednesday (if I have my dates right) he’ll be a raving lunatic and then…good times. Good times. Oh yeah. I’d tell Mark; “You can derelict my balls!” but quite frankly, “I can derelick my own balls, thank you very much.”  (You are welcome, Lenny.  Like how I got both in there?)

“May 2nd, 2010: Walmart ruins another weekend. But I meet with another P.C.D.A. board member and discuss the donation of the fill land above Dollar Tree to become a soccer and baseball field complex. If this happens, it will stimulate the rental of the five remaining Hurricane Marketplace storefronts. It will also lead to the development of the rest of our hill, creating jobs and revenue!”

My Response: Bullshit. You did not “meet” with another PCDA board member. You saw him in Walmart and then stalked him until you cornered him in the linens department before yammering on about what they could do with the land. The only reason he was nodding was so that you would think he agreed with you so he could escape faster, but the only thing running through his mind was “My God, someone get this crazy, raving lunatic away from me! And why does he have spittle on his lips?! Does he have rabies?!”

Seriously, how else would someone react when they are cornered by a 300 plus pound man, ranting and raving, with spit flying off his lips and breath that smells of a combination of KFC and the dump my cat just took 10 minutes ago!? All this while poking at a package of Spongebob sheets to make his point clear.

::pauses to let the vision sink in::

I know, right?

I’ll tell you what will stimulate the rental of the five remaining Hurricane Marketplace storefronts. A moving van in front of 194 Grace Drive.

GUEST COUNTER BLOGGER, LENNY!

Covering for a very busy Tyler Hollywood, guest counter blogger Lenny, steps up to the plate to take on May 3rd and May 4th!

“May 3rd, 2010: A beautiful West Virginia afternoon is destroyed by excessive Walmart traffic noise. I speak with another P.C.D.A. Board of Directors member who promises to bring up my suggestion of donating the fill land above Dollar Tree to one of the park systems. She says she will suggest it at the next board meeting. Last week I asked Mayor Scott Edwards to put the sound wall and trees on tonight’s voting agenda. Of course, this was done well in advance of the 72 hour requirement. If Edwards is ethical, he will do this and pass the measure. Time will tell. And time tells that Edwards fails to do the right thing, unethically keeping the issues off the agenda. If you are an unemployed brick layer or landscaper, look no farther than anti-jobs Silly Scotty! He is costing Putnam County jobs and revenue! Meanwhile the Putnam County unemployment rate remains high!”

Lenny’s Response: Mark, do you honestly think that anyone wants to hear your bitching about the sound wall and landscaping you wrongfully imagine you are entitled to? I’m sure that got old after the first time you asked for it and were shot down with a resounding “No.” For the purposes of debate (which you proved in court that you are no good at) I will quote a wise philosopher.

“Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” – Spock, Star Trek II – The Wrath of Khan

You’ve tried to bully your way into what you want so many times that people just don’t care any more. If you were a tax paying citizen, maybe, but you’re a sponge on society, Mark. You take and take and take and take and go back for fifth and sixth helpings of everything. You, Mark, are what is wrong with society. For all the whining about the government not doing their jobs, when the government does it’s job, and does so with fairness, honesty and ethics, you complain because it does not benefit you.

– You, Mark Halburn, wouldn’t know fairness because you have proven that you are a greedy pig – taking what is meant for many, and using to only benefit you.

– You, Mark Halburn, wouldn’t know honesty if it bit you on the arm because you have proven that you are a liar, purjuring yourself in court by claiming that you are only 300 pounds, you lied about what the officer said, and you lied about not knowing that the SWAT officer was indeed, an officer. You admitted this at the end of your hearing yesterday. An honest person doesn’t need to have a good memory, because they only have to remember the truth.

– And YOU, Mark Halburn, wouldn’t know ethics. Your theft, lying, strong arm robberies, trespassing, avoidance of tax, and being a burden on the citizens of Putnam County have proven this time and time again.

My mother once told me “Integrity is telling yourself the truth. Honesty is telling it to others.” More brilliant words were never spoken.

That’s the difference between us here at the TBA, and you, Mark Halburn. We have integrity. You never have, and with your track record, you likely never will. With integrity comes respect, another thing you will never have.

You call into play the ethics of Scott Edwards, again, and c’est toujours la même histoire. These issues are only issues to YOU. They only affect YOU. YOU want free landscaping, that’s what it comes down to. And the city, county, state are not required to give that to you. The nice things that I have, the big house, the landscaped yard, the sports car, these are things that I have worked for and have provided for myself. I did not ask anyone to require someone else to give them to me. Go fuck yourself. Get a job, save some money, be self sufficient. That’s what it takes in life, Mark. If you are so concerned with the plight of the unemployed brick layer, why don’t you shell out your part time substitute babysitter money and employ one or two of them to build you a privacy wall. (Which is what you are asking for, essentially, we all see right through you.) Or the unemployed landscaper… maybe you can get yourself another $10 membership to the Arbor Day foundation and get more trees for one of them to plant?

Until then, shut the fuck up.  Love & Rockets to my TBA allies! – Lenny –

“May 4th, 2010: A reader tells me that Walmart’s web site says the Hurricane store is 1.9 miles away from our home. That distance would put it someplace between Silly Scotty’s home and Don Chaney’s home. I wish!”

Lenny’s Response: Oh shut the fuck up with the “Silly Scotty” crap. Are you FIVE? You sure act like it with your whining about it being unfair and your pathetic name calling. Seriously. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. No one wants to hear it. Perhaps when they plugged 194 Grace Drive into Google Maps it came up with Culloden’s Grace St. Which is 2.9 miles away from the WalMart. Regardless, shut your chicken stuffer.

Big ups to Lenny for stepping in for a couple of days!  Thank you, Lenny!

“May 5th, 2010: It’s Cinco de Mayo, but we can’t enjoy a siesta in our hammock because of the excessive Walmart traffic noise! Of course, it’s because of the noise that we took the hammock down a long time ago. Just another of the many sacrifices that we were forced to make for Silly Scotty’s Great Adventure!”

My Response: Jesus Mark, you can’t even tell when you’re lying in the same frickin paragraph! You gave the impression that you were trying to enjoy a nice hammock siesta but could not because of the noise. Then something ion your brain clicked and said “Hey, didn’t I already lie about this and say I had to take the hammock down? I better cover my ass.”

One? You can never cover your ass. It’s too big.

Two? You don’t even know what you have lied about. Well, let me make it easy for you. Everything. Everything to put in your Walblog is a lie. Yeah, we know, it’s your version of what happens. That’s a lie. Your entire life is. That’s really sad.

To be frank, many of us have agreed that the real reason you didn’t enjoy your Cinco de Mayo was because of your crushing defeat on Wednesday at the hands of Judge Tod Kaufman. He was on to you and your dirty tactics before you could even open your fat jowls. I would have said before you could start sweating bullits but from the news I got, you were already pacing and sweating in the hallways before the apperence. All 41 minutes he just hammered your defense into the ground. Wait…your lack of a defense. That sign was your only defense? Sweet Jesus, you are a stupid, trailer trash, scumbag.

Now you want to take this to a higher court? Dude…get real. You wore a sweat pasted golf shirt to court and represented yourself. That’s disrespectful, man. Clean yourself up, drop this supreme court idea and stop stalking lawyers, mayors and PCDA board members.

Oh….one more thing.  That little whine fest about the amount for a trespassing conviction?  It was a two year olds tactic for getting something he wanted.  Kaufman’s only mistake was falling for that shit.  You owe so much more to that city than a hundred bucks and court costs.  I hope the court costs end up being for every hour, every piece of paper, every judges robe used, every briefcase bought and every suit cleaned and pressed and wasted on this ridiculous and frivolous appeal.

“May 6th, 2010: I meet with an attorney about suing the City of Hurricane over the sound wall and trees and zoning issue. He hates the city and I can’t wait to get started on getting some peace and quiet as well as some justice!”

My Response: Hahahahahaha! Do you ever hear yourself when you type these out? “He hates the city and I can’t wait to get started on getting some peace and quiet as well as some justice!”? You fuckin retard. If he hates the city then having him as a lawyer while suing the city is a conflict of interest. Gods you are stupid. And desperate. Oh, hate to point this out but you have planted trees on your own, like you should have. So there is no need for the city to pay for a sound barrier. That doesn’t matter though. Your situation has never changed and it never will.  There will never be any justice for you.  No one cares, Mark. Nor should they. You are just like all those other dirty immigrants that sneak into the United States…a burden on America.

“May 7th, 2010: Dolores buys Matthew a bouncing ball toy. The kind with a handle on it that a child sits on and bounces around. He has a good time bouncing around our yard, but is constantly distracted by the excessive Walmart traffic noise. It is too bad that he can’t enjoy the beautiful neighborhood that we moved into. Wally World and Silly Scotty ruined it all! A big rig truck from Buccaneer transport rolls down the hill in front of our home. Why don’t truck drivers honor the no truck signs? And Walmart’s street sweeper shos up before 10:00 p.m. What happened to Walmarts “morning only” promise? Why won’t Walmart treat us properly?”

My Response: Dolores didn’t buy that toy. It was one of those freebies you picked up on the RBP. That’s Recycle Begging Program. A bouncy ball with a handle? They call those The Hoppity Hippity Hop Ball and those pretty much went out of favor with kids when bell bottom jeans went out of style teens in the late 70’s. Jesus Christ, can you live in the now? That being said, lets say little Matt was bouncing up and down on an HHHB in your front yard. He doesn’t give two shits about the noise of a fucking car or two driving by. He’s probably intrigued by trucks and big rigs because that’s what NORMAL kids dig, dude. Fuck you and your pretentiousness. Putting words in your kids mouth just so you can have someone “on your side”. You are nothing but a giant puke bucket. And yes, I to have those pictures sent by an alert reader and avid supporter of the TBA.

As far as the trucks are concerned, I have your answer. They don’t care. Most of these truck drivers that show up (whether it’s Buccaneer or G.O.D) are one timers. Only the Walmart drivers have the possibility to be regulars in that delivery area. So they really don’t give a shit. Personally, I don’t blame them. It doesn’t look like they are driving through any sort of neighborhood, that’s for sure. They just look at it as a few white trash stragglers and really, “what are they gonna do?” The police don’t enforce it because, quite frankly, they have better things to do and you have already burned any bridge with them for them to take any action, you nutball. As for the street sweepers? You can blame all that… on me. No…really.

Finally, do I need to answer that last question?  Nahhhhhh…didn’t think so.

“May 8th, 2010: Another Saturday spoiled by excessive Walmart traffic noise. We can’t enjoy our yard anymore. Walmart should put up a sound wall and trees. “

My Response: They don’t have to. You put up your own trees and according to photographic evidence, you pretty much are your own wall over there, Taco Belly.

“May 9th, 2010: It’s Mother’s Day, but we are forced to move our celebration to a family member’s home in a quiet neighborhood. Our neighborhood has been destroyed by Silly Scotty’s pet project! “

My Response: Why didn’t you go out to eat at the Golden Corral or something like that? You did last year. Oh wait. You spent so much money on those trees you planted a couple of weeks ago you couldn’t afford it? Ahh….gotcha. Question though, “another family members home”? I thought MIL was “camping out” at your place full time? I mean, considering she owns the place and all. By the way, your neighborhood wasn’t destroyed. It’s not a neighborhood! Never was. I mean, just look at the dump. Who would want to live there…and across from a Walmart?! Yer crazy.

Oh….wait. I’m sorry.

“May 10th, 2010: I spot one of Walmart’s customer Service Supervisor’s Heather, shopping at Kroger. Pretty sad when Walmart can’t keep its own employees from shopping elsewhere.”

My Response: Why is that sad? Really? Why does it matter that she chose to shop at Krogers? It’s a fucking grocery store, Mark. More choices, better meat department, maybe she has a Kroger’s card. Who are you to be a pretentious dickbag and wonder why she doesn’t JUST shop at Walmart. You know, people like to have variety in life. It’s not all KFC buckets and Taco Bell deals. Fuck off. By the way, readers, I’d like to point out that as soon as I asked the marionette to dance, he did.

“May 11th, 2010: I meet with one of the 14th District House of Delegates candidates at my home. She is sympathetic to our issue and promises to help-if elected.”

My Response: Bullshit. Mark, we all know you don’t meet with a single, living soul. You stalk these people, trap them into corners and then proceed to bombard them with your crazy rhetoric. Meetings. ::snorts:: My ass.

Who was this person?

Why was she there?

Did you ask for this meeting or did she come to you?

What did you talk about?

Why was she sympathetic?

What color of panties did she have one?

Does she like KFC chicken?

Does she fart after eating Taco Bell?

Do you still rim Troy late at night?

Do you think you are important?

Does any one care about your plight?

Should I stop asking questions?

Oh…did you help her get re-elected.

::BUZZER::

Ohhhh….9% say no.

Should I end this post here? Or with something witty? Nah, lets just end it here and see if he answers any of these questions.

“May 13th, 2010: Some moron sets off his car alarm at 10:24 p.m., waking our toddler. He’s probably one of the idiotic fans of the trash bloggers. “

My Response: Yeah, he probably is. Thanks for keeping us in your heart, Mark, even when you had your blog hidden. By the way, I’d just like to say I have been sitting on this for a few days (since the 16th) and I have to say what follows from Mark…are all lies. Oh yeah, Mark? I know what woke your toddler. You waddling down the overstressed floorboards to fire up your computer to complain about a car alarm going off.

“May 14th, 2010: Another moron with a car alarm pierces the night. This one lasts about 5 minutes. When I call the storte to complain, Assistant Manager Mary rudely hangs up on me. As we are sitting in our living room trying to watch television on a peaceful Friday night, rude Wally World customers speed up the hill in front of our home, accelerating, their engines to make it to the top, hitting the drainage grates at about 30 miles per hour, making excessive noise. Rude customers, rude managers, the Walmart way of doing business in a neighborhood! “

My Response: Ya know, I wanted to go through and look at last years ranting because I could swear he ranted about a car alarm around this time last year. But looking at his blog history, he stopped posting for a month and a half starting May 13th. He was all frustrated by the “attacks” last year. I can only imagine what he is going to do when he finds out we found his “hidden blog”. “What a maroon. What an ignoanimous. What a nincowpoop.”

Will you leave Mary alone?! She has better things to do than to be bothered with a phone call from the “raving idiot in the blue house” about something she has NO CONTROL OVER! Jesus H.

Question. Why are you still complaining about those grates? I have proven that they do not make that much noise. We even have video where you can hear a car drive across them and it’s not that loud. Wanna know why YOU, Mark, didn’t hear that in the video? Because it wasn’t that loud!

By the way. Here is how Walmart does business. It opens it’s doors, it allows people to drive to and from the store so they can shop at said store. Basic, cut and dry. What’s your problem with the way they do business? I think I may have stumbled upon the true reason you bitch, whine and moan about Walmart. YOU…didn’t think of the idea.

“May 15th, 2010: I am awakened at 5:32 by a car roaring up Walmart’s hill. A rude awakening on a Saturday morning! Thank you Wally World and Silly Scotty! Later in the day, we try to enjoy our front yard, pulling the swing and patio chairs under the trees. But every few seconds, a car slams onto those stupid grates, not to mention the car alarm that some idiot sets off! My neighbors have guns. I am surprised they haven’t used them. “

My Response: I am a little surprised they have not used them either…on you! I hit the nail on the head with this one when I predicted what you would be ranting about. Mayor Edwards, car alarms, those silly grates. You are a walking Cathy Chatty doll, Mark. Pull the string and eventually it repeats everything in the same annoying way.

I’d also like to point out one thing that makes Mark look like an obvious liar and crazy person (other than paper work that actually says he is) and that’s the fact that “every few seconds” a car drives by to go to Walmart?

Fuck me that’s a hell of a business they got goin there! I want some of that action!

Alas, I hardly think it’s “every few seconds” that a car drives in or out. We’ve seen the video.

“May 16th, 2010: The trash bloggers are having a hissy fit because I have moved this page to where they cannot find it. Meanwhile Facebook has pulled their trash parody page and two other trash pages have been yanked. One more to go and I will have pretty much disabled these idiots!”

My Response: LIE! See, this is why he hides his blog. NO ONE had any sort of fit that he had pulled his blog. Hell, that’s one of the goals! To get it removed. But, we knew it’s be back. That’s the beauty of the Internet. Stuff gets archived. It comes back to haunt you. So Mark goes off telling his “readers” about getting this pulled, or getting that pulled. He’s had nothing removed. What “trash parody page” was pulled? All Network Blogs are still up barring Lee’s original page. He didn’t renew his paid page and went with a free one. Or so I assume. PutnamLIES continues to steam along. We are still here at It’s A State Of Mind.

You think by hiding your blog and then telling lies about things that did not exist (these Facebook pages you spoke about), you are going to win? Excuse me a moment.

::clears his throat::

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Whew. 30,000 comedians out of work, and fat boy thinks he’s funny. By the way, something I’d like to point out.

“…because I have moved this page to where they cannot find it.”

To that I’d like to say “FOUND IT!” Again, no hissy fits, no panic. We found it in less than a week because you are predictable and quite frankly, Google indexing is the shizzle. The best part? we didn’t have to hunt for it. The other best part? I’m not sharing the link with anyone. I visit by proxy so you won’t figure out who I am and the rest can get their blog updates….right fuckin here. Excuse me a moment.

::clears his throat::

Ahahahahahahahahahaheeheeheeahahahahahahahaheehee!

See Mark? You thought you were being the smartest man alive. You moved your blog in an attempt to stop us but what you have actually done is taken even more readers away from your site and sent them to mine.

Thank ya. Thank ya verah much.

Hollywood….has left the building.

“May 17th, 2010: Just another day of excessive Walmart traffic noise!”

My Response: Ho hum.   Quick shout out to Mayor Edwards! S’up S to the E?

“May 18th, 2010: At 6:55 a.m. a truck roaring out of Walmart’s parking lot wakes our toddler. People are so rude, and Walmart is so rude for not putting up a sound wall and trees like in other parts of the country. Why don’t they treat Hurricane citizens with the same respect as other Americans?”

My Response: I’ll tell ya why! Can I please!? Huh huh? Can I!? Screw you, I’m doing it anyway. The reason they don’t treat YOU like an American, Mark? Because you don’t act like one. You act more like one of the 20 million illegal immigrants in this country right now. Entitled to everything for nothing. Lets look at how much you are more like an illegal immigrant than an American citizen.

You moved here from another country. (Lets face it, California is technically another country.)

You married a US citizen to get past immigration laws. (I’m not sure who made the bigger mistake here. You or Doeds.)

You are unhealthy. (Like most illegal immigrants, you are sickly and spread disease.)

You suck our systems dry. (From the free food at live remotes and events to your bogus FOIA requests.)

You want everything handed to you. (From food, to TVs to government help.) For nothing.

You prey on innocent victims. (Much like the illegal immigrant criminals that kill, maim and rob our citizens.)

You use bullying tactics. (Much like illegal immigrants to get what they want.)

You weaken our education system. (Substitute teacher babysitter.)

The list could go on but I think that is more than enough to prove that you should not be treated like an American citizen…anywhere.

And ya know? I’ve been thinking a lot more about this sound wall or trees issue. Now, they may have put sound walls and trees up in other places, but not like you say they do Mark. Not everywhere else, as you would like people to believe. Yet, you want them to put one there? I ask, why should they? I mean, they usually put up sounds walls to protect neighborhoods that are butted up to the Walmart properties. However, you don’t live in a neighborhood. I mean, just look at the place. It’s dirt road with places that look more like dumps or businesses than anything else. Who wants to waste money on that by putting up a sound wall?

I sure wouldn’t.

“May 19th, 2010: A car alarm at 2:00 a.m. wakes me up. Walmart needs to put up a sound wall. “

My Response: This guy makes me laugh. Seriously. Another fuckin car alarm? Seriously Mark? Have you ever read what you type up and really taken a look at it? You sound delusional in each and every one of these postings. Next time there is a car alarm going off at 2AM, I want a recording.

“May 20th, 2010: Just another day of obnoxious Walmart traffic noise. This excessive rattle has got to go! Nexct year we can send Silly ZSciotty and his moronic management packing! Let him flip burgers at McDonald’s, a job better suited for hus shoe-size IQ!”

My Response: Tip back a little hot toddy before you decided to make up more stories, Mark? That last one was filled with several mistakes. Mistakes that don’t appear to be random typos. Those look more like the pudgy fingers not working due to a little inebriation. And you should talk about shoe sized IQ, Mark. Someone with mental deficiencies like yourself doesn’t score much higher in the IQ department than someone with a really big shoe. Besides, Scott Edwards won’t be able to get a job “flippin burgers” because that’s the only job you have left to accept down there. Have you ever given thought to that, Mark? You have burned so many bridges that perhaps, not even a fast food joint will hire you. Anyway, he doesn’t have to worry because he has Overlord support for another term at Mayor.

“May 21st, 2010: The B.S. bloggers continue to whine about this blog. They must have run out of Enfamil in their sippy cups! Meanwhile, we continue to endure excessive traffic noise from Walmart. If the B.S. bloggers hate this blog so much, they are politely invited to put their money where their mouths are and to cut us a $350,000 check to buy us out! We will move TOMORROW! However, collectively, they probably don’t have 35 CENTS to their sorry names! The Daily Mail runs a retirement story about Joe Haynes and AEP. Comments criticize him and say voters should retire him in November. ABSOLUTELY! Send the piece of crap commissioner packing!”

My Response: Whine?

::listens with a discerning ear::

Uhhh…nope. Only whine I hear seems to be coming from that maw on your face whenever you sit down to eat dinner. Have you ever considered the feelings of people that cook for you, mark, when you eat? I mean, Dolores, the cooks down at KFC, the ladies in the lunch room where you baby-sit? They slave for an hour making your food and you wolf it down in 35 SECONDS. (See what I did there, 35 cents to our name, 35 secon…I really don’t need to explain that joke, do I.)

::sighs::

I feel bad for them. So much hard work. Ok, where was I? Oh yeah. Sippee cups. Glad you still listen to the show, buddy boy. I used that joke already. Nice to see you are keeping notes on my rants. Lets see, after that it’s just a broken record sort of post. He wants a $350,000 check, trees, a sound wall and for all government officials to step down. What kills me is most of these officials in place in West Virginia are doing a better job than the nutbag in charge of our country.

Now, onto this Daily Mail article you talked about. I read it. It was a great article. Objective and non biased. You made it sound like the comments within the article were critical. Nope. Fact is (and this is something you didn’t tell your “readers”) that it was you under the guise of Outraged mountie commenting upon the article and it was only you that was critical about Haynes. If anyone is a Hayseed, it’s you. Need we a reminder?

“May 22nd, 2010: Some idiot with a leaf-blower on Walmart’s parking lot wakes our toddler shortly after 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning! Speaking of idiots, when I call to complain, Assistant Manager David says, “This has been going on for years” and hangs up on me! That’s right, David, your company’s rudeness HAS been going on for years, so pull your pinhead out of your backside and show some courtesy to your neighbors! Many properly managed cities have outlawed noisy gas leaf-blowers but Hurricane doesn’t have intelligent management.”

My Response: That damn kid should already be up and watching Bugs Bunny cartoons! Good God, man! 7AM and he’s not up?! You’d think his last name was Halburn or somethin.

Ok, now for a serious question. How many assistant managers does Walmart frickin have?! Last week it was Mary, this week it’s David. Do they really need that many assistant managers or is someone making up names again? Hmmm…who would I be inclined to believe. Gee, let me think.

By the way…::clears his throat::

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

No city has ever “banned” noisy gas leaf blowers. In LA they had a rule on the books back in 1998 where commercial users of these gas powered leaf blowers were limited in use. They could not be used within 500 feet of a residence. That’s pretty much the same where ever you look. So, they used a gas powered leaf blower over at Walmart. Are you sure it was Walmart, are you sure it was gas powered and are you sure you live in the same year as we do?

Oh, one final thing for today, since it will be a few days before you decide Walmart is bothering you again…I see you had an ad on your site for Sheetz the last few weeks and now it’s suddenly gone. Huh! I wonder why. Gee. Let me think…

May 31st, 2010: I Noticed that the Walmart in Virginia Beach is separated from nearby homes by a grove of mature trees AND a pond. When I text Scott Edwards, he suggests that we move to VB as it is a nice area. I respond that it is a nice area because it has good management, unlike Hurricane! He repeats his low-ball offer. Now that I have it in writing, I advise him that the text will be turned into the WV Ethics commission as he is trying to use his office for personal gain. The pinhead politician responds that he is going to tell his mommy. What an effing moron Silly Scotty Edwards is! We advise him that the cost of our property remains at $350,000. Edwards should also have to pay $10 BILLION in punitive damages for all of the abuse he has put us through. However, we will take the $350,000 just to leave his sorry carcass behind! I found a home for sale that we would like to buy. As soon as Edwards cuts the CERTIFIED check for $350,000 we will make good on our promise to leave him behind!

My Response: Wow!  Can you believe this!?  Even though the WalBlog has been taken down, yours truly has dug up a WalBlog post by Mark Halburn!  Actually, fatboy tried to use the comments section here as his WalBlog rant platform but no way am I havin that.  I mean, I am a counter blogger for Gods sake!  So, instead of his post just being a comment, I added it here to cap off the last day of May.

Now, last take a look at this post.  Ya know what this looks like to me?  A pack of horseshit.  I mean really.  While on vacation, he finds a Walmart that fits his example, he texts the Mayor of his hometown and supposedly gets a text back?  I call BS here.  And dude, come on.  You are on vacation with your family.  Go spend time with them.  Jesus.  Granted, I know people like to check mail and all their favorite sites (see what I did there?!?) while on vacation, but good lord man.

By the way, do you know why Mark sent me the Walmart rant that he did?  Because he knows I get more readers than his WalBlog ever did.  By the way, here is a clue for ya Mark.  You are never leaving West Virginia the way you think you are.  i find it funny that every time you go travel somewhere, you find a place you would like to buy. “Now if I can just get some sucker to give me 350K!”

::buzzer::

Not happenin.  Ever.  Sadly, you will never see this because your documented delirium hots a reset button every morning you wake up.