3 – March 2010

Ah.  A new month. Spring is around the corner.  A time for change.  Wait a second.  I almost had myself convinced.  Then I remembered, we are talking about Mark Halburn.

“March 2nd, 2010: After Silly Scotty ducked the issue for months, I nail his sorry backside with a Freedom of Information Act request and PROVE that our home was zoned residential before my wife bought the home. Scott Edwards, YOU LIE!”

(Link omitted to avoid the displeasure of having to go see that site.)

My Response: Ok. It’s late. I’ve worked 3 straight 9-9 shifts to train the new staff. I’m tired. I’m stuffed full of pasta at 11:20 at night and I am cranky as all get out. Then I read this shit. It’s an article over at The Publishers web site, which will forever remain nameless so you can keep coming here to read it instead.

For years, critics of the Hurricane Walmart’s neighbors, politicians, and store managers have been telling the nearby residents to stop complaining about the construction and traffic noise. “After all, you moved into a commercially zoned area.”

There’s just one problem with that statement: It simply isn’t true.

John Clay moved into the neighborhood about 40 years ago. Dolores Martin-Hallburn and her mother, Margaret, bought their home in 1992. (Dolores is this publisher’s wife).

• Why this guy continues to write about things he is involved with (directly or not on paper, because we all now he is involved totally on record) and call his site a news site is beyond me. Journalistic integrity is not in Mark’s vocabulary. Never has been, never will be.

John “Jay” Clay, III, lived in Martin-Hallburn’s home before she purchased it. He now lives in the trailer beside his father’s home-all of which are pictured above this article.

• Wow, that’s movin up in the world of West Virginia!

The zoning was changed without knowledge or permission of the Clays or Martins, during a May 2nd, 1994 Hurricane City Council meeting. Mayor F. Raymond Peak was in charge then with current Recorder Linda Gibson and current member William “Reggie” Billups sitting on the council. A Hurricane Municipal Planning Commission letter says Peak requested a public hearing about the zoning change.

• So? This happens every day around the United States, dipstick. This is a non issue. It’s only an issue with you because you are a fucking retard that doesn’t know how things work and doesn’t get the idea that the world doesn’t revolve around your fat ass, though technically, you do create some sort of gravity effect. But that’s another greasy story.

Current Mayor Scott D. Edwards was not involved in the zoning switch. It is not clear when he first found out about it. So far, he and Peak have declined to comment on the issue.

• Like they want to talk to the crazy guy from Grace Drive? In their position, I don’t take that call either. It’s just best to ignore the little brat that wants the biggest piece of cake.  I should also mention that Edwards had nothing to do with this change and doesn’t need to comment.

We will let the documents posted above this article speak for themselves.

• I’m not downloading them folks. It’s mundane, town meeting minutes. Seriously, no news story here.

(Pudgy Fingers) made copies of the documents after re-filing a Freedom of Information Act request which was first ignored by the city.

• No. It was after you rant, raved, bitched and moaned. We SAW all that leading up to this.

GO GREEN: (This crappy blog) is online only. We do not publish a paper edition in order to protect the environment. Please do not print this article unless it is necessary!”

• And again…will you please take that stupid ass, self serving, liberal minded, cock sucking, irritating message off your stupid ass, self serving, liberal minded, cock sucking, irritating blog of a web site?! For fuck sake.

Final thoughts.

::one leg on the ground, the other propped up by a heel on the lower rung of a stool, hands over that raised knee::

You know. There are some people in this world that just don’t get it. The ones that feel everything should be handed to them. Now, as anyone that knows me, reads me or hears me on the radio show knows, I ask (and at times) demand that you get involved, write your congressmen, become informed. All in an effort to change things. But honestly, this is NOT the way to do it. Calling yourself a news site when it’s clearly an opinionated blog to sedate some sense of grand dream of being a newshound with breaking stories is simply migraine inducing. Mark? Do you seriously believe that you are some press agent? An Anderson Cooper kind of guy with his finger on the pulse of the nation?

No.

You are just a sad, certifiably crazy guy that is spreading the disease of apathy, laziness and entitlement around the county you live in, just so YOU can be happy. You always ask, mark, “don’t I deserve the right to peace and quiet and to be happy?”

No Mark. No. Not with the way you act. In my book, you are just like all the other illegal immigrants out there, sucking and feeding off the tittie that is known as the United States of America.

“March 3rd, 2010: A total stranger named Samuel Walden posts a link to this diary on his Facebook page. Way to go, Samuel!!! Finally someone gets it!”

My Response: Wait what? Seriously? Sam Walden

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Now that’s funny. Good luck with that.

:;pads off, then stops and looks over his shoulder…turns back and then stops again and this time returns::

Hold up a second. Ya know what? So Sam here is supporting you, as I gathered by your man crush giddy like giggle fit I swear I just heard. Well, Mark, I hope that Sam becomes your best buddy, something that Troy could never really live up to…since he is someone’s bitch for the next 30 days. I hereby promise…PROMISE…that I will convince Sam to see our side of things, Mark. I promise that. And when he does, you will weep the loss like that of the time your lost your Krispy Kreme between your own thighs.

Du Hast. Mark. Du hast, mesh.

“March 4th, 2010: Some video store clerk in New England named Rick apparently files a complaint with my web host because I created a special page to document trash blogger harassment for law enforcement to review. Of course, Rick doesn’t post his diatribes under his real name. It’s no wonder. I wouldn’t use my real name and post his comments! These trash bloggers need a life! No one in our neighborhood cares about what anyone in Vermont thinks about the noise on Grace Drive. Meanwhile, Walmart’s excessive traffic noise continues and Silly Scotty is an Epic Fail for a mayor!”

My Response: I don’t know who this Rick (actually, I do!) fella is but bravo mother fucker! Nice job getting that trash page taken down. All it was, was a page of stolen, copy and pasted material from my site and others. Rick takes the liberty to point that out to Mark’s host and bam, he’s forced to take it down. Good show, sir. Good show. You have just moved up to #1 super fan of the show.

By the way, Mark? That page wasn’t a review for law enforcement, even if that was what you intended it to be. That was a horrible looking mess of what was already posted elsewhere and was someone else’s. Oh, and before you get all pissy on me about your posts being quoted here, that’s just it…it’s quoted! They know these posts are yours and I have credited you. This is why whomever tried to have my blogs posts taken down, failed. I went about things the right way, dick cheese.

And I am tellin ya Mark. You better stop harping on the Mayor. Pretty soon he’ll be getting a nice little letter from a concerned citizen about all the libel you spread about him on your page. You think people in Putnam County don’t care what Rick, Matt (regular listeners) or I think? Think again.

And ya know what I really love? This Enduring Wal Mart blog? Has simply become an Enduring the Trash Boggers, blog. We are making you do something you don’t want to do…and I love every minute of it. Finally, a taste of your own medicine.

One final note, Mark. Remember when I said I was your dragon? I’m still breathing fire.

March 5th, 2010: A UPS truck illegally charges up the hill in front of our home-then parks in the fire lane area in front of Walmart. The driver never apologizes. Classy!

My Response: Just what does “illegally charges” mean?  Well, I decided to consult the Mark Halburn to English translation manual and I have rewritten the entire complaint paragraph so that the general populace can better understand todays “issue”.

“A UPS truck drove up the hill on the road in front of our home, just a driver doing his job.  Though I was a 1000 yards away, I assume  he parks in the fire lane area (because that’s what I would do)  in front of Walmart. The driver never apologizes, but then again, how the fuck would I know because I am peeking out from behind my curtain at the little blue hovel.  I’m such a classy sleuth.”

Seriously?  This is too easy.  Guess I am going to have to so an Exposing the Publisher piece just to sedate my need for writing this evening.

March 6, 2010: …

My Response: Well, since Mark doesn’t seem to have any complaints today, or more to the point, he is off licking his wounds, I decided to take a crack at posting for him on his Wal mart blog.

Any objections?

::gavel::

Sold!  Here we go.

• March 6th, 2010: Another day of excessive noise with the Wal Mart traffic!  How can they be so RUDE!?  The trash bloggers still attack me even though I have not done a thing.  They say I was wrong about my news story I broke about my property being zone changed without our knowledge.  I wasn’t wrong!  I was lied to.  I blame Silly Scotty Edwards for all this! It’s HIS fault for being a terrible mayor.  Meanwhile, my news site continues to break records every day.  You people LOVE reading about the sex offenders I break news on and the 16 year old stories I post about lottery winners.  They will NEVER defeat me!

Heh.  I even patted my belly when I sat back, impressed with my own impression.  I have two questions for Mark.  One, we have already asked, but when will you admit you were wrong, Mark?  Question number two, are you over-compensating for something by posting all these sick, whacko sex offenders?  You can only kick sand over your tracks for so long.

“March 8th, 2010: I take my son out into our front yard to enjoy some spring-like weather. As he is playing, some jerk in a big rig drives on the no-truck road in front of our home, startling our toddler. Why can’t these Walmart delivery morons honor the no-truck zone? And why doesn’t Hurricane Police cite these idiots!”

My views on this day are here —-> http://wp.me/pwGfv-5T

“March 9th, 2010: The video store trash blogger from Vermont completely distorts my article about the City of Hurricane violating the Freedom of Information Act law. And now the trash bloggers even have a logo. Only morons would be proud to be trash bloggers! As I have said many times before, they need to get a life!”

My Response: Dude. What gives? You are giving credit to smeone else for my work!? Slanderous! And I didn’t “distort” anything, Mark. I deconstructed, tore apart and shredded your “article”. I brought the Peptmo for your verbal diarria and you just can’t stand the fact that I brought it. As far as the logo, BIG ups to Mike Balburn for coming up with that idea. That was outstanding! Yes I am proud to be a member and no doubt it just kills you, kills you, that we are using your very own taunts as something we should be proud of.

Finally, we need to get a life?

::chuckles::

Seriously? We all have lives, careers, hobbies and significant others we all spend time with. This deal with you? It’s a hobby. But it’s also an important under taking that I support. Because if we let you rant, rave and carry on like an idiot with your full blown lies and your “news articles” littered with halve truths and full blown bashing agenda’s, then you infect others to the same bullshit. When no one stands up to stuff like this, or when there is no refuting such claims, then the numb begin to believe. And we, as a nation…can’t have that.

Editors Note: Here is my prediction for Mark’s Walmart Blog for March 13th, 2010.

MARCH 13th, 2010 • 5:00 p.m.

PO FOLKS DINNER & AUCTION FUNDRAISER

Scary Creek Church of God Fellowship Hall

Come On Over Neighbors!

Dinner is at 5:00 p.m.

Dinner Cost: Donation

For more information (or to warn them Mark Halburn will be there stuffing his jowls for free, please telephone:

304-757-8309 or 304-610-6241

My Response: Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!

“March 10th, 2010: Another day of excessive Walmart traffic noise. And another day of the City of Hurricane failing to do the correct thing. Shame on you, Scott Edwards! You are an EPIC FAIL of a mayor! “

My Response: Another day of excessive lying. And another day of the City of Hurricane having to put up with Mark Halburn failing to do the right thing…like telling the truth. Shame on you Mark Halburn! You are an EPIC FAIL of a human being.

“March 11th, 2010: The trash bloggers continue to make idiots of themselves. Sixth graders have more maturity! What a waste of time they are!”

My Response: Mark Halburn continues to make an idiot of himself…by posting 5 days of bullshit in one night. Look how short these are. He is making all this up! He’s got nothing left. And he can’t stand me. Sixth graders make googly eyes at him behind his back at his lack of maturity. What a waste of air, flesh and brain matter he is.

“March 13th, 2010: One week after he witnessed the City of Hurricane violating the West Virginia Freedom of Information Act, city police cite freelance reporter Lawrence J. Smith, who was trying to review public documents.”

My Response: Are you serious? A copy and paste from a shitty article? This is all you have? I’m wearin ya down, aren’t I. Gettin on your nerves. Pissin ya off.

Boxing Announcer: Hollywood’s got him in the corner and it’s just body blow after body blow!

Color Commentator: Hollywood is brutal in the corner! He once got a stripper in the corner and…

Boxing Announcer: Whoa there, nelly! Family blog. Family blog.

Color Commentator: What!? Since when you moron! I’ve said “fuck” here before.

Boxing Announcer: Body blow! Halburn is winded!

Color Commentator: Winded?! When ISN’T he?! They pay you for this shit?

::chuckles:: I could seriously go on for hours with that. But I won’t because you have to clean up the coffee you just snarfed out of your nose and onto your new shirt/blouse.

Oh, for those that missed the truth behind the March 13th blog post by our ethic-less hero? It’s HERE.

Oh yeah, one more thing for the 13th?  How was the Po Folks Dinner, KFC boy?

“March 15th, 2010: One of the trash bloggers sends out a nasty email about me. The trouble is, the recipients think the sender is an idiot! At 11:53 p.m., a car roars up Walmart hill screeching its tires. Why don’t these idiots show any common sense or courtesy?”

My Response: Wait. It wasn’t me. I’ve asked several others. It wasn’t them…wait a second. It was YOU! You sent yourself a nasty email and forwarded it along to Larry, didn’t ya. Didn’t ya! Don’t believe me? Read the blog post for March 16th. I have proof you send yourself stuff. (Yes, I have ESP, I know what he is about to do.)

“March 16th, 2010: Pre-sunrise traffic noise from Walmart wakes me up more than 30 minutes before my alarm clock it set to ring. Thanks for being an obnoxious neighbor, Walmart!”

My Response: Mark? Ya gotta stop dumping on Wal Mart. I mean, after all, the sold you the CPAP machine that helps you sleep at night. Sleep so good that you dream this shit up. Actually, you are just starting to make shit up. You are so afraid of what I am going to respond with that you no longer dare post every day with real effort. Bad form, ole chap. Bad form. By the way, the only reason you posted any of these this week was because Lenny pointed out that you were a fat lazy slob for not posting anything. Do you dance on strings too?

“A fine conscience I turned out to be!”

Oh, remember yesterday I mentioned some sort of proof that he sends stuff to himself? Well, he got into a little fender bender today. You can read about that HERE. But all of a sudden, Mark is pro police department after this little incident. What’s with the sudden 180? He knows he was at fault (barring his piddly excuse of some guy that almost T-Boned him that conveniently got away) Pure BS. So, what’s he do? He sends a sunshine up the HPD skirts “Letter To The Editor”…wait for it…of his own site!

“Many Thanks For Your Great Work, Officers!

I want to give a HUGE THANK YOU to Hurricane Police Cpl. T.J. Dillon, and Officers C.K. Eggleton and Emily Young for their highly professional assistance with my auto accident, March 16th.. They were very thorough, caring, and raised professionalism to a new level.

As a citizen I am glad to have these fine people are working for us as members of the Hurricane Police Department. We can all be proud of their work.

Mayor Edwards, I ask that you read this in the next city council meeting so Dillon, Eggleton, and Young can be publicly recognized for a great job!

Many thanks!

Mark Hallburn

Publisher

http://www.Putnam(1996WEBSITE).com”

I speak for everyone that is going to read that when I say;

WTF dude? Seriously.

“March 17th, 2010: Just another day of excessive Walmart traffic noise! We never get peace and quiet anymore! “

My Response: Ladies and gentlemen? A quote from Mark’s wife.

::ba dum doom::

Thank you, I’m here all week.

“March 18th, 2010: Despite a promise from Walmart that its street sweeper won’t be working until 7:00 a.m., it disrupted our neighborhood a few minutes after 6:00 a.m. Why won’t Walmart keep its promises?”

My Response: They did Mark. You forgot to set your clocks ahead last Saturday.

::ba doom::

Thank you, yer too kind. Be sure to tip the wait staff!

“March 19th, 2010: While shopping at Big Lots, I run into a Walmart assistant manager buying a 25-foot piece of coaxial cable. I ask him why he doesn’t buy that at Walmart, where he works. They carry cable. He responds, “I don’t want to be anywhere near that huge place on my day off.” We wish we could get away from that huge place. We NEVER get a day off from Godzilla Walmart!”

My Response: So, what? We aren’t allowed to shop elsewhere for goods even if the place we work at happens to carry those goods? You are the most narrow minded person I have ever had the displeasure of dealing with. Seriously. He doesn’t want to deal with Walmart today because he is there every other day of the week. I bet he looked up and sighed heavily when he saw you.

“Damnit, I thought I wouldn’t have to see that guy today!”

It’s like your wife. She wants to get away from the Godzilla that is you. By the way, Hurricane doesn’t get a day off from you, does it? ‘Nuff said.

“March 20th, 2010: Walmart holds a midnight DVD party for a movie release. HUNDREDS of customers bombard the parking lot at MIDNIGHT! When do we get to sleep! How IRRESPONSIBLE to hold a midnight DVD release when you are located next to a NEIGHBORHOOD OF HOMES! But Walmart doesn’t care about us, corporate greed rules Walmart’s mindset!”

My Response: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! “How irresponsible…” You are the biggest killjoy on the plant, you retard. They do this the world over! You know what your problem is? You can’t stand to see anyone having a good time. Let me clue you in on something. These people that showed up? They are called fans. You do things for your fans that are exciting, fun. Tuesday is the national release date of 95% of the movies that come out on DVD or Blu Ray. Every now and then, a production company will pay a fee and announce an off date release. They call these release parties. Twilight Saga: New Moon is a pretty big deal. Bigger than Potter, dare I say. I may not be a fan of the movies or books but that’s not going to keep me from checking these things out now and then. They can be fun if you live a little outside your box.

BLAST….FROM THE PAST!

“March 21st, 2009: Another car alarm wakes me at 12:46 a.m. This is nuts! People are SLEEPING at 12:46 a.m.! If Walmart can’t keep things quiet overnight, flip the store to a Sam’s Club! This neighbor wants some courtesy and respect! When I try to go back to sleep, some car hits the drainage grates, keeping me awake until after 1:15 a.m.”

My Response: “Flip it to a Sam’s Club!”  Yeah, that’ll make things quieter!  Jesus Christ.  Mark, it wouldn’t matter who built there, you’d be complaining because really, it’s the only reason you don’t take a check for $11 dollars and just move.  You said back then that you wanted courtesy and respect.  Do you have it yet?  No?  Huh!  I wonder where the problem is then?  By the way, you used the drainage grate complaint before;

March 21st, 2008: Good Friday means lots of food shoppers preparing for Easter dinner. They don’t care about us, they just swarm the Wally-World all day, sending excessive noise into our home. Cars hit the annoying grate in the road every few seconds, and the more-annoying “motion beeps” from some sort of machine crash our peace and quiet all afternoon. I get another email from someone criticizing me for being angry at the 3:10 a.m. street sweeper the other day. Like all of the others, he refuses to buy us out and live with it himself. What a hypocrite!

Don’t you get it yet, Mark?  No one cares.  No one gives a shit.  Why should they? Most sane people learn to live with change (35 years is a long time with no change) and I can’t figure out why you can’t….oh wait.  I’m sorry.  That was very rude of me.  I forgot about your evaluation.  You’re not as sane as most people.

::thinks a moment::

That’s no excuse.  Deal with it or take control of your life and make some changes.  No one will ever…do it for you.

“March 21st, 2010: The trash bloggers are whining about my objections to Walmart’s midnight DVD release party. Screw them. They live out-of-state and can’t hear the noise. Nobody cares about some liberal talk show host from Vermont who chickened out of coming here for a live debate. These trash bloggers are ignorant whiners!”

My Response: Liberal talk show host!? What the fuck dude! You are one crazy little fucker. I’ve been called a right wing moron and now a crazy liberal. Hahahaha! I think people are now starting to get the point. I rip BOTH sides. I’m a screaming radical, Mark. You should talk, too, you crazy liberal. Wanting to tax anything and everything just because you think it’s bad for someone. You are a screaming liberal, Mark. A fat, pasty faced, jowl flapping liberal. Me? I’m a defender of the Constitution and am willing to do what our forefathers did to bring us back to “We The People.” You? Just a liberal that wants to order everyone to stop smoking and pay an extra dollar on a beer can that goes into a liberally lined pocket.

Now, as far as me “chickening” out, well, that doesn’t hurt my feelings. We all know the truth. I made an honest to God offer to do a live remote. I gave you a quoted price that included everything, the advertising you’d get, the live air time, the travel costs, the whole nine yards. You countered with wanting to charge the station $10,000 to use your land. After that, pretty much any offer you make from there on out, is going to be declined. The station owner said “that’s crazy talk” and yeah, he nailed it right on. So stop trying to use that as some sort of taunt against me, Mark. We all know the truth there.

Oh…and a parody of you breathing fire and running roughshod over a Wal Mart because they had a DVD release party is not an objection, it was a full on funny fucking slap in your face. I have no objection to that.

“March 22nd, 2010: Another day of excessive Walmart traffic noise. It never ends.”

My Response: Neither do these responses. I’m sure it started with street sweepers, then a truck or two, someone probably squealed some tires….oh, and the neighbor should be busting out his motorcycle soon.  Look for those complaints in the near future, folks. Remember where you heard it first.

Oh yeah.  You say the madness never ends?  You are right.  It doesn’t.  When your certifiable crazy, the madness truly never ends.

“March 24th, 2010: Walmart’s street sweeper shows up before their self-imposed 7:00 a.m. time, disrupting our home. Why won’t Walmart keep its promises? Walgreens opens today. I hope it siphons away a bunch of Walmart’s business! Before they even hold the ribbon cutting I buy a sack load of merchandise. Walgreens built a sound wall to protect their neighbors. I will shop at Walgreens whenever possible. Walmart is losing out on business because of continued disrespect for our neighborhood! I apply for Patty Hager’s vacant city council seat. Hurricane needs real leadership. I will provide real leadership!”

My Response: Ok, forget all this shit about Wal Mart and Walgreens. Whatever you want to say there, tubby. Blah blah. Here’s what I want to talk about. You applying for Patty Hager’s vacant city council seat! Excuse me a moment…

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Oh my word.

::chuckles some more, trying to regain composure::

Whew. Humdinger.

Now, where was I? Oh yeah.

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

::shakes out his arms::

Ok, NOW I think I am set.

::snicker fits::

Holy shit, my gut hurts from laughing. Ok, lets start over.

::hee hees some more::

Damnit! Stop it Tyler. Get a hold of yourself. Ok ok. I think I can do this.

Mark? You want to hold a city council seat? Fine. Lets see what you can do in someone else’s shoes. Something you have never been able to comprehend ever before in your life. So, you want to show what true leadership is all about. Ok, good. I commend you. Lead by example? Nice, lets see you start. First, if you accept this role, guess what you have to do? You have to shut down your site.

I’ll let that sink in.

Why, you ask? Simple. If you are a candidate for city council or any political office, you have become a public figure and as a candidate, the state ethics commission will ask you to shut down your “news site”. It’s a conflict of interest, so you can’t run it. Mark? Don’t go saying you don’t have to shut down the site either. We already know you’d have to. The rules DO apply to you. You are a news site, right? You do have a press pass, right? Well, so you say.

Personally, you do this and you back yourself into a corner with your site. But I know you Mark.

::taps his own temple::

I know that what you posted is a bullshit statement. You do not have the nutsack to run for any kind of council spot or political office. You are just trying to look all tough and gangster for your punch drinkers by saying you will run for a vacant spot. And Mark…really…you should be ashamed of yourself. Just last week you were glowing all over Scott Edwards and the police department for the fender bender help you had. Now? Right back at attacking that kind of leadership in Putnam County. Bad form, ole chap, bad form.

“March 25th, 2010: Another day of excessive Walmart traffic noise. And a dangerous situation. As my family and I leave for an errand, we are nearly T-boned by a pickup truck that rolls the stop sign at the bottom of Walmart hill. This is typical. Since Hurricane’s Epic Fail Mayor Silly Scotty refuses to make the police department enforce any traffic laws on Walmart hill, drivers do whatever they want! Resign, Mayor Edwards! YOU ARE A TOTAL FAILURE!!!!!”

My Response: Ya know, like everything else that is everyone else’s problem with this guy, this too is his own fault. Mark? You were almost T-Boned a week and a half ago at Rite Aid. Your reaction sent you into a buttfuck of another truck. Now this “near T-Bone” incident. You’ve also had an accident on what was it, on 35? 64? I can’t remember, but it’s not important. You ever stop to think it’s you, pally?

You are so mad at the world for everything that your mind is never truly focused on the task at hand at any given time. No doubt you were so distracted and mad at some idiotic little thing that it was your lack of attention that put you in this situation. My opinion is you couldn’t stand to wait at the stop sign and YOU rolled through it when the other guy hesitated. You blow it up into a story of nearly getting T-boned. Well, I don’t believe you. Why? Because of your track record. Always trying to play the victim. Always trying to be the hero. The Luke Skywalker of Putnam County. Trying to overcome the big bad Empire and show boating these little victories. Yer not Luke Skywalker, dude. You were one of the nameless, faceless storm troopers that bought it in the first 5 minutes of Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.

And shame on you, Mark. How dare you. How dare you go and attack Scott Edwards again after you just got done blowin sunshine up his ass and that of the asses at the HPD. Why is it you speak highly of someone when it serves only you, huh? Answer me that. Oh yeah…

::hands him a shovel::

Here, while you are at this little bitch fest, keep digging a hole where you can bury your city council seat you want to run for. Keep talking like that and you’ll even end up not voting for yourself.

“March 26th, 2010: A Lance snack truck violates the no truck rule on the road in front of our home, sending excessive noise into our home as the heavy truck slams onto the metal grates.”

My Response: I have yet to see those pictures you promised me from last time, pudgy fingers. I still don’t believe that Progress Way is a no truck road. I believe your road is. I really do. But not Progress way. By the way, how can you even diss a Lance Snack truck! The cheddar cheese popcorn rules! And I am not a popcorn fan!  By the way, enough of the metal grates.  You’ve been complaining about those for 3 years now, maybe more (scroll up to find proof) and any sane person would have done more than complain by now.

Oh wait…

::heh::

I forgot.  I said sane to a crazy person.

Sue me.

WAIT!

Mark, put the forms down, I was being factitious.

“March 30th, 2010: Scott Cosco, another state bureaucrat who has no clue about what this neighborhood is dealing with, refuses to reschedule the meeting that he promised with Joe Manchin’s Chief of Staff. When government officials refuse to keep promised meetings, it’s no wonder that incompetent mayors like Silly Scotty get away with abusing citizens! Cosco’s words MIGHT have some credibility if a car wasn’t roaring up Walmart hill in the background during the exact moment that he said them!”

My Response: Wow. We cap off the month with a a rambling tirade! Did anyone understand that? Of all this time reading the Wal-Mart bitch fest I don’t recall ever a mention of Mr. Cosco. To the best of my knowledge, isn’t Scott Cosco the Director of Intergovernmental Affairs & Constituent Services at West Virginia?

::rubs his chin::

Well, yeah. I guess that would put him in the front line of issues such as this….if this issue were even remotely that important! With the economy the way it is and unemployment a huge issue in West Virginia, I’m sure Scott Cosco (anyone want to take bets on when he becomes a “Scotty” in these positngs?) has enough on his plate that will push off a meeting about….well,whatever Mark is bitching about.

I gotta tell ya, I was a little lost on this post. Screaming about government to trash talking poor Scott Edwards again. Guy does a complete 180 when he rear ends some truck and suddenly loves Edwards and the “dreaded” HPD. Less than a week later he was spinning around another 180 and back at the bitching about said targets. Now, to cap off the month, it’s like nothing has changed. It’s interesting what you can find out about a man by watching all this.

Seriously though? This was an awesome month, filled with several revealing statements, lots of comments and of course, a lot of dizzy spells caused by Mark spinning around a lot because he doesn’t know now if he is coming or going. April is going to be interesting as Mark will be dealing with his trespassing conviction appeal. Of course, we all know that when things don’t work out Mark’s way, he resorts to bitch festing on his wal-Mart blog. I’ll be here all month long as well. Thanks…and be sure to tip your wait staff.

(Note of interest: On March 31st we really capped off the month…Tyler and The Bad Side LIVE got a call from Mark Halburn and the man, as scary as it is, believes everything he says even when we catch him in a lie.)

“March 31st, 2010: Another day of excessive Walmart traffic noise! And another day of Scott D. (as in derelict of his duties) refusing to solkve the problem. Scott Edwards is just aNOTHER PINHEAD POLITICIAN!”

My Response: Whoa there, nelly.  You almost snuck that one past me, lumping it in with the rash of April postings you posted today.

::rubs his chin as he reads the rambling mess::

Dude.  you are seriously off your rocker.  What a way to end the month.  A call from you which left us all scratching our heads and my box full of e-Mail to be read this coming week.  Seriously.  Did you hear yourself?  That was a rambling mess.  So was the phone call you put into the Bad Side.  Good Christ, I know why you keep this shit up, you have yourself convinced and just ignore things when the truth is shoved in your face.  Man, one day you are going to have a stiff reality check and I hope I am there to see it.