West Virginia Man Caught In Lie!
Mark Halburn. Family man, blogger, KFC fiend….and liar.
Recently the Great White Shart has been spotted leaving his slimy trail of hoo hah around the Hurricane, WV Topix Forums. I can only assume that he figured no one would be watching. He thought it was safe to go back into the commenting waters.
Already having posted under the name of Mark with an IP hit of Nitro, WV, Mark left several different comments on a few topics at Topix. Not a big deal, just his usual rantings and copy and paste efforts and his always present linkage to the his putnam(blargh).com web site.
In his wisdom, he decided to rant and rave under the guise of “Lee” (also with a Nitro IP hit), whom he of course took the name from the infamous Lee from Cryptic Bullshit, and posted several lame shots at the Hurricane political elite. It’s a tactic called Wingmanning.
After a few hours, he got caught. It, of course, escalated. He then went on a big back track attempt by creating an account and making a post under the name of The Real Mark Hallburn. Of course, I have since proven that The Real Mark Hallburn, Lee (from Nitro) and Mark (from Nitro) are all…Mark Hallburn.
In Post #11 under the “Gazette makes endorsements in Putnam election” thread, Mark (in response to someone using his own name…which is funny as all get out in this case) had the following to say.
LIES by yet more libelous statements made by people hiding under false names to try and discredit me and my family!!!!
I have NEVER set foot in that vile place! My family and I shop elsewhere for our grocery and merchandise needs!!
Wal-Mart and the Putnam County leaders that allowed such poison into this fair county are a disgrace and they can’t stand it when I print the TRUTH!!!!
Wait. Did you miss it? Go back and read line #2 there. What what?! He’s never set foot in that Walmart?
::insane Preacher point::
I have the proof right here. Proof that Mark himself sent this “publisher” back in the early part of the year. Now, to protect his information, the account numbers have been removed (by his own doing) and I have captured only the necessary parts to prove my point.
Now, let us not forget that he has been seen at Walmart by several different alert readers and fans of various blogging sites and radio shows to prove he has been there, but we have numerical and verified proof that he has actually spent money there.
How will The Publisher deny this one? He can’t! I wonder what his “legal team” thinks of him now?
Lets envision, shall we?
::dream sequence music::
The scene opens up to show a close up of finger puppets all sitting around a small table, stolen from Matthews Barbie Playhouse set.
Finger Puppet Lawyer #1: Wow. I think we have a development, gentlemen and as Mark’s legal team, we have to nip this in the bud if we are to have any chance at any sort of lawsuit.
Finger Puppet Lawyer #2: This is disastrous! There is no way we can spin this. Is there?
Finger Puppet Lawyer #3: Did anyone bring the KFC like we talked about at the earlier meeting?
Finger Puppet Lawyer #1: Will you shut up about that! And Jesus Christ, wash the grease from your face.
Finger Puppet Lawyer #3: Someone said there would be chicken.
Finger Puppet Lawyer #2: Seriously, guys, I think we are up the you know what creek without a paddle.
Finger Puppet Lawyer #3: So no chicken?
Finger Puppet Lawyer #1: There has got to be a way to salvage this. Where did Hollywood say he got this?
Finger Puppet Lawyer #2: From Mark himself.
Finger Puppet Lawyer #1: What!? Are you f’ning kidding me?!
Finger Puppet Lawyer #3: How about some Taco Bell?
Finger Puppet Lawyer #2: I’m not kidding. This is why I am saying we should run the other way. Kind of like the way the democrats are running away from Obama.
Finger Puppet Lawyer #1: I think you might be right.
Finger Puppet Lawyer #3: I really wanted the chicken.
Finger Puppet Lawyer #1&2: SHUT UP ABOUT THE DAMN CHICKEN!
Dolores: Mark? Ae you playing with your sock puppets?
Mark: Awww…Dolores! Way to break the fourth wall there. Damnit.
Finger Puppet Lawyer #3: Oh great, so now there really is no chicken.
Annnd scene fade.
Thank you and…GOODNIGHT CHICAGO!