Revelations! Mark 11:26

You know what amazes me about the Mark Halburn situation I find myself in? That each day we find out something new about him or his situation. All these years he’s been complaining about the noise from Wal Mart which sits several hundred yards from his little blue hovel but the way he makes it sound, the parking lot is on his front porch.

For years he has been complaining about the plows, street sweepers, the every day traffic, June bugs flapping their wings and even Interstate traffic that is a mile away. We all know he is blowing smoke so he can try and sell his house as a commercial property, there by getting some more money that it’s actually worth. It’s appraised at roughly $89,000, or in that ball park. But yeah, Mark would take a check of $350, 000…no less.

Crowd: What?

Yeah. I know, right. $350,000.

::collective laugh::

30,000 comedians out of work and this guy is trying to be funny. I wish that were the case. He is dead serious. So he invents all these noise problems to prove to the world that it’s better to but the property as a commercial property so no one has to deal with that noise as a residential and of course, to bump up the price. These complaints have continued for 5 years.

Then we find out a Revelation! On the 27th of February (a month after his trespassing conviction, mind you, he dials up the current fixation of his, Lee of Cryptic Bullshit. See, Lee and he are having a go around so Mark decides to try and get even. He pranks Lee with a fake voice and some crude remarks then tries to deny it by posting this;

“Lee is continuing to libel me with false accusations. I did not call him. I was sleeping. A simple subpoena off all of our telephone records will prove that none of us called him. Two adults will testify that I was sleeping. A scan of my CPAP record card will prove that I was sleeping. Lee continues to libel me and Tyler is allowing the libel.”

So he was dead asleep and his CPAP machine can prove….wait what?! He has a what? He has a Continuous Positive Airway Pressure machine?!  Hold the phone here.  If he has one of these and uses it to sleep, how the hell does he hear all that noise from Wal Mart?!  Have you heard these things?  No way is Mark hearing all this noise from Wal Mart with that machine on.  Holy Liar Pants On Fire, Batman!  Mark just threw 5 years of complaining out the window!


I hope he gave himself a nice reach around there because he just fucked himself.  Funnier thing?  I have proof he was up and about when he said he was sleeping.  He told Lee he was sleeping and the CPAP machine can record the time (even though Lenny has proven you can turn the damn thing on and not be wearing it) of 11:56 when the prank call was made. is the IP address of Mark at his little hovel.  It’s the same one as listed in the graphic above.  Note that he was looking at my site at 11:36PM, 20 minutes before he made the prank call to Lee.  Yet, he was able to settle down into bed, get the CPAP affixed over his head and fall asleep into a deep sleep in 20 minutes.  Someone get me a buzzer.


Thank you.  so, not only have we caught him in his lie about prank calling Lee, we also find out that his noise problem is complete and utter bullshit as well because of the CPAP machine.  Double win!

For some reason, though, I have this vision of the Knights That Say Neet.

“It’s only a flesh wound!  Come on.  I can still fight!”

Give it up Mark.

13 thoughts on “Revelations! Mark 11:26

  1. Want to see my imitation of lard bucket? Like to hear it here it go:


    You continue to lie and allow “Lee” to libel me on this blog. I have notified the Vermont State Police of such action, they are waiting at your trailer to serve you with a cease and desist.

    You are hereby ordered to cease and desist all entries about me and remove any and all pictures about me and my family. Your continued harassment will stop! LEAVE US ALONE!

  2. Good post all around, but I must take credit off to the missed Monty Python reference. It is the Knights Who Say “Ni”…we Pythonites take this stuff very seriously….about as serious as Mark Hallburn having a heart attack :)

  3. Tyler:

    You are hereby ordered to send me new panties. Silky nice ones. Because I peed reading this. Also, the maple syrup that you’re sending to Mike. I want that too. And could you get me Jacque’s copy of Madden 2004? It’d look nice on my mantle.

  4. ::chuckles:: I knew I was screwing up “ni” with “neet.” Damnit. My apologies to the Pythonites, of course, with a gracious bow. A gallon of ($60….yes it’s 60 bucks a gallon this winter) of maple syrup is on it’s way!

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