“Hi. My Name is Dennis…”


Crowd: Hi Dennis.

… and I have a problem.

It’s been a few months but sometime last year I posted a comment at my favorite web site called Girl of Words.  As it turned out, I was busted.  My real name is Mark Halburn.

Hi.  I’m Mark.

Crowd: Hi Mark!

…and I’m an asshole.  You see, I tried to steal me some WiFi today so I could create a post here supporting, well, myself, but under the ruse of being, well, someone else.  Well, I got busted again.  I know why I got busted too.  Tyler Hollywood is a God.  I mean, nothing gets past that man.  I have a serious man crush on that guy, let me tell ya.

Oh sure, I might call him a liar and the worlds worst radio show host but really, deep down?  I crush hard on that man.  He’s that good.  Seriously.  Ask him, he’ll tell you himself and God damn…you just believe him right away because it’s true.

Anyway, since I am such a scumbag and need to be forced to admit things, I’d like to admit that once again, I got busted.  Due to Tyler’s due diligence, GOW’s memory and Mike Balburn’s ability to counter EVERYTHING I have ever done, I have to post this.

Long story short, I once commented using Dennis3Kids@AOL.com over at GOW’s site with my very own IP address.  I know, I know.  I’m a fucking idiot.  I just didn’t think Tyler was this damn good though so I used it again while stealing some WiFi from KFC (Editors note: Or Biscuit World, of Dunkin Donuts…insert dining establishment here) thinking I would outsmart all these “trash bloggers” and really put it to em.  But alas, I’m still just a frail minded, certified idiot of a beached whale.

I can’t do anything right.

::stone kick::

Ow!

::huffies::

See?  Pity me.

I’m Mark Halburn.  Thank you.

(Note: The above was written as total satire.  Anyone that thinks I am Mark Halburn will be shot at dawn, no cigarette allowed.)

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